Thursday, 24 December 2009

An Empty House

Hi All,

Jack finally asleep after a couple of hours of fidgeting and excitement for tomorrow. Jamie exhausted and sound asleep early. He's been up since 4.30am for work so needs some sleep. We did all the usual traditions: Carols, food and drink for Santa, Santa hats, glitter trails on the front lawn for the reindeer to see where to land (most of it ending up on Jack as we tried to do it fast due to the rain!)

The once Jack finally asleep and I'm about to wrap pressies it hit me. Jen and I did this together the last couple of years despite our separation and the house feels so empty. If I had realised how it would be I would have teed up Caz or Liz to come and help and share the time together. Too late now. A difficult evening here but tomorrow will be better. Now the others are asleep, can't handle the carols anymore tonight.

Anyway, wishing you all a Happy and Healthy Christmas and hope Santa brings you what you all want (happiness and health?) And may the Lord keep you all close at this special time, and I'm sure Jen would be sending all her love and best wishes to you all as well.

Take care.


David. XOX


  1. Thinking of you and the boys, David.

    Peace to you. Praying that you all find His comfort in those lonely times.

  2. Christmas can be such a lonely time, for so many reasons. I'm wishing you joy in between the loneliness and sadness, too. Merry Christmas to all of you.

  3. Hoping you find peace tonight David. Wishing Jack and Jamie a beautiful Christmas today. I'm so sorry for the sadness. Jenni will definitely be there in spirit. Lisa L.

  4. Hi David: God bless you and all your friends and family with the Peace that passes understanding. I'm so sorry you're going through this sorrow.

  5. You're doing a great job, David. Glad Jamie and Jack have such a wonderful dad even in the absence of a great "mum". God bless and love you all in this time of missing her so dearly. We're thinking of you!!! Merry Christmas--hope you are blessed abundantly!!!

  6. David...Have a beautiful Christmas, and a happy healty New Year. Your post really got to me. I pray for peace for you and the boys. We just found out my husband has prostate cancer this week. It's really early in the diagnosis but the dr thinks it's early detection. He will be having surgery the end of Jan/beginning of Feb. His father died of prostate cancer 10 years ago. So...we are a little distracted this Christmas...but we know God is in control of everything. Sorry...for getting off subject. I hope you have a wonderful holiday David. Kiss little Jack for me.

  7. Sending you hugs and warm wishes to you. I know it's going to be difficult but you should be proud of the job you are doing with Jack. I am sure Jen is proud, too.

    Blessings on this Christmas time and have a wonderful new year, one step at a time.

  8. David,

    Bless you all this season....thinking of you.



  9. David,
    I will be thinking of you from Madrid (Sp).
    Thanks for posting. This is the first time I write here but I´ve been following the site for some time.
    I wish you Peace.

  10. Hi there, David. Yes, you are doing a GreaT job. When it's hard and you keep going for the boys' sakes, you are being strong for them. And I think by writing what you feel (whether you share it with anyone or not) you are giving yourself outlets and gaining strength.

    My husband lost his first wife (and two sons) in a plane crash. He says that the first year is full of "Last year at this time..." events.

    He says that sometimes they were heartbreaking, sometimes bringing a little grin, sometimes thoughtful, always lonely. After that first year things became easier in the remembering, as time puts space in between, and God brings healing.

    I love the phrases you Aussies use that I've never heard. Pressies, teed up (I thought that was only for golf!), and the customs I've never heard about...glitter for the reindeer. That would be fun for the kids.

    Thinking of you and the extended family, and wishing you blessings from above.

  11. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all

  12. You are so strong. Good for you for being such an awesome Dad and keeping the traditions. I might know a small part of what you are feeling - I lost my Mom in the Spring to cancer and I miss her even more dearly now Christmas is here. However I know she is still around, as is my brother who I lost two years ago.

    I hope you have a peaceful Christmas with warm rememberance of past memories as well as creation of new memories. Know Jen is there with you in spirit and watching over you all.

    Blessings and hugs to you, Jamie, and Jack.


  13. Thank you, David and happy holidays to you and the boys. You are in my thoughts daily and may you find some joy in the small things. I know you will.

  14. Dear David,

    I sure wish being with you in spirit could help. I know so many of us here are!

  15. Judi In Stratford Upon AvonFriday, December 25, 2009 8:14:00 am

    Sending you and the boys warm hugs and much love and I just know Jen will be watching over you all, and I'll bet she's bursting with pride - you're a wonderful Dad. Thinking of you as always, Happy Christmas. Judi.

  16. Pangs of longing hit at unexpected moments. Wrapping you and your boys up in the spirit of Christmas. Jen will have her arms around you all always but especially this Christmas. Keep writing as it will help sort your thoughts and ease the pain. Warm hugs from Peggy (and have a wonderful time with your family this Christmas)

  17. May you and your family have a blesses Christmas.

  18. Greetings from NE Ohio, David. I wish peace, love and health.

  19. Merry Christmas David to you and Jack and Jamie! I pray your Christmas is filled with good times and many memory making moments.


  20. Merry Christmas David, Jamie, and Jack...wishing you Peace...

    Lisa in south Florida

  21. David ~ Happy Christmas to you & Jack & Jamie. I hope the New Year brings you all some peace. Thinking of you in Vermont. Blessings ~ Alesia

  22. In my thoughts and prayers - all the best to you, Jack & Jamie. Hoping and knowing that Jen's shining star will shine bright on you this holiday season.
    Blessings and prayers
    Nicky from Canada
    Merry Christmas

  23. Merry Christmas David,Jack,Jamie.Wishing you all a better 2010.God Bless you all.
    ((((((Jen)))))) our Angel.

  24. I've been thinking of you all and praying for you. I know this holiday must be so hard.

    You are doing a great job, David. I know Jen would be so proud of you.

    Merry Christmas to each of you. May God's blessings and love make your days easier.

  25. Hi David, receive a warm hug. The evening was tough, I imagine that.
    Love to you all.

  26. merry christmas david,
    thanks for continuing this blog.
    i hope the new year brings peace and comfort in your new normal.
    you and jack are so very lucky to have each other.

  27. Dear David,
    Blessings to you and Jack and Jamie and all of your family and all who loved Jenni so well. May 2010 bring much happiness.
    Ruthie from California

  28. Merry Christmas to you and the boys! May 2010 bring you peace and blessings!

  29. Dear David

    Your post brought tears to my eyes and a big lump to my throat. Thinking of you and hoping there is joy and peace amongst the sorrow.

    a big hug from
    Heather in Brisbane

  30. Dear David-
    Thinking of you all this holiday. I can't imagine how difficult the 24th was. Wishing that 2010 brings peace, healing and joy for you all.

  31. David,

    Love to you and yours.


  32. David, Sending you love and prayers across the miles! I thought about you and the boys lots yesterday and sent good wishes over the seas.

    I can understand what you might be feeling - you've been so busy taking care of Jenni and also Jack and Jamie (along with the family too) that you've likely not had any time to process your loss, too. I wish you peace and comfort in the following days, weeks and months. I think someone above mentioned the first year being the hardest and that makes sense.

    Just know how much Jenni (and you can tell by reading back to her posts!) really cared for you and so appreciated everything you did for both her and the boys. I know she's looking down from above and you all have one special angel watching out for you.

    Know you are loved here on earth and above - and we're here for you whenever need be. Thanks so much for keeping us all updated, it really helps visualize where and how to send good wishes.

    Be well and take good care,
    Cate in California

  33. Please post a picture of Jenni and Jack from when she was healthy.

    I know that I would like the image that stays with me to be one of Jenni when she was still vibrant and full of life!

  34. Dearest David, Thinking of you and the boys. Keep trucking. Jen would be very, very, proud of you x

  35. Thinking of you and Jack and Jamie this week as you close out the year. It was a terribly hard one, wasn't it?

    I think of Jen often, by the way, and am determined to keep up the Mothers With Cancer site and my other advocacy work in her honor, and that of the others who we have lost. I still remember one of the first questions she asked me about MWC -- "Can I post a picture of my colostomy bag?"

    Love her.

    Love, WhyMommy/Susan

  36. Hi All,

    Thanks again for your wonderful support and especially for that beautiful comment, Susan, re Jenni. She would be humbled.

    It's been a tough couple of days here with another to come. I will post on this shortly but we have been cleaning out Jenni's house and it has been bittersweet.

    Jack seems to be generally traveling well but Jamie seems a little lost to me. He has many tough life lessons coming and I think he's also feeling a little daunted. Anyway, he and his girlfriend are coming up this weekend which will be good for them and for Jack.

    Thanks again, take care all.


    David. X

  37. That's gotta be tough... cleaning out, touching and seeing things that were Jenni's. God seems to give us enough strength to handle the day, and then the next day He's back to give us just enough again. You are spending the Christmas days doing such difficult things because they are the right things to do. May God bless you richly in little things today; surprising little things that will give you some smiles here and there.

    Would Jamie be willing to share his emaill address?

  38. God bless you all David - give Jamie strength, very tough age to lose a parent - they are still finding their own way and as much as they resist their parents to an extent, their parents really are a guiding grace to them - even though they would never admit it!!
    God bless you all - may her angel wings give you strength and love thru these tough times.
    Love & prayers
    Nicky from Canada

  39. Thinking of you all and hoping that this holiday season will not be too difficult for you all to bear.

    Thank you for continuing to write here,
    Ella x

  40. Thinking of you all on this New Year's Eve, may it be a lovely and comforting year for you all.

  41. Wishing you nothing but are a wonderful dad - Jenni would be so proud, and I am sure she is smiling down on you all.