Monday, 14 December 2009

Bye Jen

Hi All,

Just a quick note to let you know how today went. Jen's funeral was organised by her family after Caz had chatted at length with Jen as to what she wanted done. They organised a beautiful, simple service. They minister was excellent and the eulogy was delivered by Suzie Blashki, the head of the Palliative Care Unit. Suzie spoke beautifully about the effect that Jenni had on the entire staff at PCU and her long and courageous battle. She spoke about Jen's love for Jamie and Jack and Jen's wishes and hopes for their futures. And she spoke about Jen's initial determination to always go home from PCU until her final acceptance a few months ago that she wouldn't be going home again. Jen's Mum's partner played the piano for the music and he was brilliant. Jamie briefly spoke about his life with and love for his Mum and did her proud and Jen's sister read a beautiful poem.

Jack was so brave. He sat between Jamie's girlfriend and myself and listened (and when the minister got Jen's age wrong saying she was 39 instead of forty he couldn't help himself and whispered to me, "Mum was forty, Dad!") and alternately leaned on each of our arms. He came to the cemetery and dropped in a small red heart shaped cushion. It was one of a pair that Jen had got for he and her to give to each other so they always had a small part of each other's heart and he kept the other in his breast pocket. He wanted to stay a while after the committal and with the support of various family and friends he was ok after a short while. Jen would have been as proud of him as I was and I know in my heart that he will be fine going forwards from here.

Jen's family all went back to Liz's for the afternoon and Jack had a great time with his cousins. And Liz and Caz and their husbands have made it very clear that they also wish to help keep Jack close to the family and his cousins. It was quality family time. I had a few drinks with the men and had a great time. And tonight has been hard. Even though we all knew this time was coming and I have been Jack's full time Dad for nearly 5 months now, it all seems so hard all of a sudden and I have a feeling of, "What now?" The PCU and Jen has been everyone's focus for so long that now she's gone we all just feel a little lost. There is definitely a sense of relief but also feeling lost.

I know with tomorrow comes another day and a new beginning for us but tonight is just tough. Thanks for all your support and wishes. I will keep you all posted as we all move forward and start afresh. Jack's cold is on the improve and we finish school this week for a 5-6 week break so we will get away for a road trip at some stage. Do some camping, be boys and have some fun.

I have some more pictures and "stuff" to share with you in the coming days.

Take care and thank you.

Love,

David.

36 comments:

  1. Hi David,
    Your words are so comfortable now, as always. Thanks once more for describing Jen's ceremony that was simple and beautiful like Jenni is. I sent my prayers and thoughts last night to be connected with you all.
    Life is hard in many ways but we must be brave.
    Holidays are near & it will be good :)
    Love to Jack and you.
    Bete

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  2. Thanks for the update. The service sounded beautiful, just like Jen. I am sure she was happy to see it carried out as she wished.
    Glad Jack is doing well...what a little trooper.

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  3. David, Thank you for telling us about the funeral. I know the days ahead will be difficult for everyone. There is always a big letdown after it is all over. I also know it will be difficult to keep all the relationships going. I know you will make the best decisions for you and for Jack. Thinking of you and wishing you the best

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  4. you're amazing David for telling us about your private day. thank you so much and enjoy your much needed holiday.

    hugs and thoughts,
    laura - PA

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  5. David - Thank you for letting us know about the ceremony. What a good idea for you and Jack to get away and go camping. It will do you both good. Blessings to you and your brave, lovely boy. -Alesia

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  6. Thanks so much, David for letting us know how the service went. We sent prayers from here. Jack and Jaimie are both so amazing. I know it is so very hard right now but the days will get lighter with time. So glad your holidays are coming and you can have some fun together. A change of scene does wonders, doesn't it.

    Love from Boston. Cat Bxx

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  7. thank you again David for taking the time to gather us all together with you and the boys...as I was going to sleep last nite, I was praying for you as I knew the service would be taking place...you are right, there will be a let-down now....go easy on yourself...take time to grieve and just have fun w/Jamie and Jack.

    you have done Jenn proud~! she must be hovering close and smiling on her sweet family~

    Sue in Spokane xooxox

    "Death ends a Life not a Relationship"

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  8. Sounds like a beautiful service. Enjoy your few weeks' break now. Hopefully it will be a time of togetherness and peace for your grieving family.

    Love and prayers,

    Cindy in Canada

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  9. Like so many here in the US, my thoughts and prayers were with you last night as you said your final goodbyes to Jen. I'm so glad you and Jack will have some "male-bonding time" soon, time to relax and figure out what comes next... Thanks for sharing and giving us the opportunity to grieve along with you. God bless...

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  10. The sun will rise today, and although I'm sure you won't be up to see it (hope not) you will on many more days. Feel it in your soul today instead. Thanks for sharing the day with us all. Glad Jack coped so well and is getting over the cold. Camping and fun sounds just the ticket. Take care, David. A new day.

    Sammi xx

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  11. Thank you David, for filling us in on Jen's funeral. I am sure the coming days will be tough ones, but my prayer for you and the boys is that you will be able to smile among the tears, until one day all of the memories only bring smiles. Until then, may it bring some small comfort knowing that so many are grieving with you.
    By the way, a camping trip sounds like a wonderful idea! Enjoy!!!
    Lisa in south Florida

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  12. As I was checking my blogs this morning I wondered how Jen was doing as I hadn't checked in on her for a week or two.

    I now know that Jen is well and whole and in the loving arms of Jesus, without pain and sorrow.

    May God's angels wrap you in their wings with love and care in these days to come.

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  13. The service sounds like it was wonderful and the boys will do amazing with support of yourself, family and friends. Jen is at peace and I am sure watching over you all.
    May you be given the strength to get thru this transitional time, it is such an empty feeling.
    Love & blessings
    Nicky from Canada

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  14. Half a world away, I sit here with tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing this with us. It's good to know that Jen had the beautiful service she deserved and even better to know how well loved Jack is, now from Heaven and from Earth.

    Kathleen

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  15. I had you all in my thoughts this weekend. I'm glad that it all turned out well. Love the heart that Jen gave Jack to keep part of, how beautiful! I know it's tough right now, but I know with time things are going to be ok. You and Jack have each other, and that's what was so important to Jen. She will be smiling down on the two of you every single day. Hugs, Rose

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  16. Dear David,

    the service sounds like something Jenni would have wanted....and i cannot stop thinking about you all, what you may be doing right now and my prayers are constantly streaming through for you all.

    jens life was so inpsiring, I can only imagine the impact she had on so many at Pallitive Care...

    She is finally pain free and able to watch over Jack, Jaime, you and all her loved ones....without a care or worry in her heart.

    Thank you so much for these updates. they mean so much...

    love to you all today,
    Shelbi

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  17. Thank you David for taking the time to tell us about Jen's funeral. It was a beautiful ceremony and again Jack and Jamie are coping well. They know they are loved and it is the most important thing! Bless you all. Bless Jenni and the wonderful lady she was and will be in our hearts and mind. Such emptiness now that we cannot read her words on here! Please David tell Jack and Jamie how much we think abour them! Love to you all, Dominique xx

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  18. Thank you David for the update. You adn Jack and Jamie will be okay. You have a lot of love, and Jen will always be a part of those boys. It might not be easy, but just go with the feelings as they come. Make sure Jack and Jamie know that their mom adored them more than life itself. In fact, I think Jen would have gave up a long time ago...she was fighting for them. I will continue to visit and pray. Jenni will be looking down. You are a wonderful dad. Hugs Lisa L.

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  19. David thank you for letting the ones of us that could not be at Jen's funeral still be apart of it.God bless and keep you Jake and Jamie safe and together.

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  20. Judi in Stratford On AvonTuesday, December 15, 2009 9:17:00 am

    It sounds like a beautiful service, full of beautiful people, for a truly beautiful lady. Thinking of you all, with much love, Judi.

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  21. David,
    Thank you for sharing all of this and for keeping us as part of the community that grew around Jenni. She would be proud of her boys, for sure. I think she would also be really thankful for and proud of you for writing these updates.

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  22. So glad all went beautifully at Jen's going away service. Jack is so smart--not many kids know how old their parents are at age 8!!! I'm also glad her family is wanting to stay in touch and stay close. That's so wonderful for Jamie and Jack. They need her family (and you'll need them too!).

    And that was so touching when you said, "What now?" Remember the first day you brought Jack home from the hospital as a baby? You might have thought the same thing, except you know Jack now! It's going to be an adjustment for both of you, but the routine will come naturally after a while.

    Don't be surprised if you get on each other's nerves during this transition. But be tender with him, David. Remember how he's just lost part of his lifeline--the gentler side of it. Teach him to rely on Jesus, and show him that you do too. Y'all are gonna make it just fine. And remember you have us praying for your situations too!!!
    Hugs and Smooches
    Kat :)

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  23. Wow, I think Jen would be very proud of all of you. It sounded lovely.

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  24. Thanks yet again, David, for sharing your experiences with us all. Sounds like it was a lovely day, and beautifully told as well.

    Interesting times ahead, I'm sure, as you all (especially Jack) adjust to the new order of things. My very best wishes to you all for this.

    Derek (Gloucestershire)

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  25. It sounds like it was a beautiful service.Much love to you all, Suzanne.

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  26. Dear David,
    Thank you for sharing the details of the service. I am going to miss Jenni so much.
    Thinking of you all and sending you love,

    annie

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  27. David, you have given us such a comfort by sharing with us. I know Jenni would be so proud of each of you.

    My prayers for each of you will continue. I hope you boys can get away. Enjoy your time together.

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  28. "What to do next..." Oh, David, I just can't imagine. Beyond remembering Jen and seeing her live on in her boys and her friends, I imagine there will be celebrations as all the things she dreamed of for all of you will come to be. Wishing you the strength that you'll need, though I know you already have it.

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  29. What a sweet sweet post David. Thanks for sharing with us. I know Jenni would have been so proud to see how her "boys" held up.

    I wish for you all strength and courage as you "begin again".

    Hugs!
    Kat

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  30. I have only recently gotten to know Jenni thru my cousin Meg Casey - I have felt Meg's love for Jand enni and started to read her old blogs and the new ones you have posted. I wish I had known her and I wish you and the boys peace and happiness. Her love will shine down on you always.

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  31. Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm sure Jen would have been proud of you all, and will be watching over you this Christmas, and always. Kindest wishes, Linda (Barefoot in the Park)

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  32. I was so grieved to hear of Jens passing, she and i were at one time corresonding "off blog" :) and she was so honest and real with her heart and of course the love for her boys is what endeared me the most to her. She leaves a beautiful legacy of love and strength to both of her boys and I know how very,very proud they are of her. With prayer and thoughts of peace for you all,
    Julia

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  33. I will miss that lovely girl's "stream of consciousness" posts...those beautifully raw and gut-level honest words that made me feel more human. Love to you Jenni.

    David, the fact that you're even here posting for her many friends during what has to be an incredibly stressful time for you and your family is quite simply amazing.

    You both are extraordinary individuals.

    Wishing you and Jack and Jamie and all the people surrounding you...peace.

    Jill

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  34. do not feel lost dear david, your heart is so brilliant. take care and enjoy yourselves on the holidays, you all deserve that

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  35. David,

    Thanks for sharing the service with all those who could only be there in spirit. Will continue to keep you and Jack in my thoughts and prayers,
    (The camping sounds perfect!)

    Amber

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