Sunday, 25 October 2009

The seesaw continues

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick note as I'm heading to bed. Not long back from hospice talking Jenni back after she spent the afternoon here at her home. She had a wonderful time with Jamie and Jack but went into pain as we were about to head back. She has had a tough week with bad pain most evenings/nights and at some other random times apparently. She wanted me to stay with her until it passed and it took nearly three hours and they had to knock her out in the end. Please keep your thoughts, prayers and wishes for pain free time for Jenni coming as she really needs them now. When the pain comes it is just relentless for her.

Added to this is a new emotional pain for us both as it seems that Jack has convinced himself that Mum is going to get better. We will have to go through the "chat" again with him. A tough conversation that one but necessary, especially as time appears to be running out.

Will end it here, am just stuck for words at the moment. Life is just not fair sometimes.

Take care,

David.

45 comments:

  1. My thoughts and prayers are with you all always. xoxo

    ~ Wendy in New York

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  2. David...thanks again for being a loving Dad to the boys & of course for remembering us out here, waiting each day to hear about our Jenni..my heart breaks thinking about her pain...please tell her she is tucked into my heart and I will be praying for comfort.

    much love from Spokane WA....Sue xo

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  3. I think many of us are at a loss for words as well. I certainly wish I had some that would help you all through this horrific time. All I can do is continue to pray and send my love.

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  4. Dearest David,
    I so wish that I could wrap you all up and soothe away the sorrow. Keep going love. Gentle hugs to Jen and great big ones to you and the boys.

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  5. Oh David - my dearest wishes to you all - my heart aches for you all. It is a pain that none of us want to deal with. I send you all my love and prayers that Jen has so little pain, that you can hold the boys up during these tough tough times. That you stay the rock because the boys need you more than anything and it is wonderful how you are supporting Jen.
    God bless you all and wish I could take the pain away.
    Nicky from Canada

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  6. Another one lost for words but wanting to send big hugs to help you all get through. The physical and emotional pain must be so hard. I keep trying to write more but the words continue to fail me.
    Bigs for you all
    Suzie

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  7. Dearest David—Thanks for thinking of us. This is all so terribly unfair. I wish so much that we could do something to take Jenni's pain away. What an enormous comfort it must be for her to have you there with her and the boys. I have a feeling that children know what is really going on and little Jack is expressing the wish that is in all of our hearts. It's okay. Sometimes we just need to allow that wish some space in our hearts. What we wish for Jenni is the very best of everything because she's shown us what a beautiful spirit she is. Hang in there, Jenni dearest. And David, you too. We're all with you and sending prayers and love. Cat B

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  8. Thank you again David! You are all going through a very tough time! I send you my thoughts and prayers! I would be so relieved is Jen could be pain free!Thank you for helping her through her journey! Jack will understand but it so hard for a young boy to live through all this! You are a very good father! love you all! Dominique x

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  9. David,
    Please let Jen know I've been thinking of her and missing her for too long now. I'm so sad as I haven't visited her here or on facebook in a couple of months, and am just beside myself for not visiting sooner. Please send her my love.
    Kathy at 2 kids...3 martinis

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  10. I have posted here just a few times, although I've been reading and checking in for what seems like forever. I never seem to be able to put into words what I'm feeling. Today I just want to say that I think of you all so often throughout the day, wondering how you are holding up. When life seems daunting for me, I can't help but think of Jen and what she is going through. Anyway, my heart is breaking. Wish there was something I could say or do. Instead, I'll just keep sending my good thoughts your way, and definitely hope and pray for pain-free days for Jen.

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  11. David, words cannot express my heart. I wish Jen could be painfree every minute of every day...we all do. we love her so....and it must be so very difficult for you and the boys to watch on...

    i am still praying...every day. for each one of you.

    all our love,
    Shelbi and family

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  12. PRAYERS! PRAYERS! PRAYERS!
    and LOTS OF LOVE are being sent your family's way.

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  13. Christine from WashingtonSunday, October 25, 2009 5:00:00 pm

    Dear David. Lots of thoughts and prayers for you and Jen and Jack. I know your strength--which is significant--is a huge help to Jen right now. Lighting candles and thinking about you. Thank you for taking the time to keep us in the loop.

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  14. Dear David
    You are right. This awful situation is terribly unfair and it seems even more so when you are obviously such a special extended family who love each other dearly.

    I hope with all my heart that the medical staff can wipe out Jenni's pain so her days and nights can be peaceful. She is an inspiration to us who have been priveleged to share a glimpse of her life through blogging.

    love
    Heather in Brisbane

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  15. David - Please, please give Jenni a huge hug from Jena in Vermont. And ones for you & Jack, too. Much love to you all.

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  16. This is the love heard round the world. As parents, we want to know that our kids will be ok.
    Jack will be ok---Jamie, too. I don't have the words--this has been such a long journey.
    Debra from NE Ohio

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  17. So sorry to hear this, I was hoping, as we all were, that Jenni would be comfortable and pain-free, and able to spend time with you all.
    Love and comforting thoughts to you all.

    Love Susie

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  18. David -- Another hug and lots of love from Vermont to Jen & you & the boys. You're all in thoughts. -- Alesia

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  19. Please know that when the end does come there is an overwhelming sense of peace that comes to all that are present. I have been bedside three times in my life and will never forget the comfort that I felt as the pain my loved ones indured ceased.
    No it is not easy and I still cry but knowing that they are in a much better state, it does help.
    We are the ones left to mourn and that part is not fair because it hurts so deeply.
    Again, as I have said, you are all in my prayers and even though we do not know one another, they will help in some magical way.
    Be strong ...
    Janet

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  20. Thanks again for the update. It means so much to us, as we all feel we are on this journey with her, the boys & you!

    I know none of this is easy - watching the boys hurt & watching her in pain. Continued prayers that she gets relief.

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  21. Dear Jen, Thinking of you daily and praying for your pain to subside so you can enjoy more days with sweet Jack.
    Hugs from Lisa in south Florida

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  22. David, you are a dear for letting us know how things are. I have you all in my prayers. My heart breaks for all of you.

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  23. Gosh, you're not kidding about the seesaw, David. Thanks again for keeping us in the loop. I'm sorry to hear about the pain coming back and being so uncontrollable. I was so hoping for some relief and peaceful days. It's good to hear that Jen did get home to enjoy being with Jack and Jaime and you too... that really all she wants right now, I'm thinking.
    Sending you prayers, lots of love and best wishes, Jen!
    Cate in California

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  24. Life is not fair, David, it plain stinks for some of us. But God is busy building our character as we face hardship and trials in life. (No thanks, God, I'm good for now!)

    I pray for comfort for Jen girl in her body and soul. I pray she'll come to know Christ by giving her heart to Him before she passes on to eternity. I don't know, David...maybe you are the person God will use to bring your family closer to Him. That can be a little intimidating and a little uneasy for anybody. I will pray for courage,knowledge, peace and strength for you in this difficult time. And for you to know God's will for you and your precious family we have come to love.

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  25. God grant you all strength, wisdom, and comfort.

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  26. Sending you all love and prayers through this difficult time, thinking of you dear Jenn, Suzanne.

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  27. sending you love, and wishing for the pain to go away soon.

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  28. How I wish I could pray for you! Stay tough and fair and good and generous as you all are, and i hope, How I hope, the pain will stay still and leave her love to flow through you all

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  29. Thinking of you all and sending hope and strength. I believe that as Jenni has demonstrated with her own will and spirit, there is a strength in those boys that will serve them well their whole lives.

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  30. praying daily and sending love, a lot of love.

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  31. David,
    I don't know what to say. I feel your pain...I wish there was something to ease it...but all I can say is we are here to listen, to lend a shoulder, to share your struggle. Sending you blessings...
    Rose

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  32. My heart is going out to you all as you go through this. It's not surprising that little Jack would want to believe that Jen will get better, but so hard for you to have to try to be clear with him. I'll be praying for all of you too.

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  33. Lots of love, prayers and peace. Many many hugs for you all
    Nicky from Canada

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  34. Thanks for your updates on how Jenni is doing. She remains in my thoughts and prayers way down here in Charlotte, NC. May she be able to rest peacefully and comfortably, surrounded by family and friends, knowing that her distant friends are with her in spirit and in mind.

    Peace be to all of you.
    GailNHB

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  35. Hello David!


    I wanted to let you know about an interesting cancer blog a group of cancer patients have been working on.

    A fellow tongue cancer patient was sent home to die. There was nothing more that can be done. Cancer survivors ask him life altering questions.

    Please read: Dead Man Talking http://beyondtheglassdoor.blogspot.com

    Peace B

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  36. Just checking in and sending some prayers across the continents. Jen, hope the pain is getting managed and that you're able to enjoy the simple moments of the day. You're fantastic at describing the beauty in nature and I really hope it's there for you to see outside your window each day bringing you light and joy.
    Thinking of you and your boys and wishing you love and peace,
    Cate in California

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  37. David: Thank you for keeping us up-to-date. I know you must have your hands full with everything else, but you honor Jenni and her friends by posting when you can.

    Jenni: We love you. I miss hearing from you directly in this space, but you are saving your energy for your family, as you should. As always, I wish we could help you carry this burden in a more tangible way, dear one.

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  38. Sending thoughts and prayers for your family.

    Cindy in Canada

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  39. Thinking of you all, and sending you love. Oh, dear Jenni.

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  40. Thinking of all of you and sending love and prayers from Canada. Please pass along my very best to Jenni...we know how important her family is to her, so it must be such a comfort to have her boys with her.

    Please try to keep us posted if you can manage.

    Lots os love,
    Tara-Lynn

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  41. Love and prayers coming from America. I am in awe of the tremendous parenting you are both doing in the midst of such a difficult time.

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