Thursday, 8 October 2009

A little numb

Hi all,

David here again. Just got off the phone from talking to Lee re the weekend. She is going to look after Jack saturday afternoon so I can play cricket so I thought it was about the arrangements for that. However, it seems that Jenni has deteriorated quite a bit this week. Apparently the doctors are unsure whether the problem is the cancer spreading (perhaps up through the lymph nodes to her brain) or she is suffering from an infection which they are unsure they can control. It seems from what the nurses are saying to Lee that worst case scenario could be days, best case could be weeks. Keep in mind however, that I am only getting this information third hand and I wont really know too much until after the weekend. Even though we all knew this would be coming sooner or later, it just seems to have caught us out a little and I'd be lying if I said I was anything other than lost as to how to talk to Jack about it over the coming days and weeks as it unfolds. No matter how prepared you are and what reading you have done it feels like it all amounts to nothing. He has had a great first week back at school. Found some more new friends and re-established last terms friends; we had a note home from the teacher telling me how well he had started the term and how well he was doing; he started swimming lessons tonight and loved it and just seems to be blossoming at the moment. I just hope it doesn't undo all the good things that are happening for him at the moment.

Anyway, enough for now. Lets hope Jenni is not in pain no matter how this goes and that she at least gets to spend another quality time with Jack and Jamie this weekend. And who knows, it may be an infection that they get under control in a day or two.

Thanks for all your prayers and wishes after the last post.

Take care,

David.

81 comments:

  1. David, I am praying hard for all of you. And, you are right, no matter how much you prepare, this is impossibly difficult.

    I know your love for your little Jack will sustain you. All you can do is take him in your arms, and reassure him. Are you a spiritual man? Be certain to seek the counsel of Hospice. They will be of invaluable help to you and the boys.

    I pray that Jenni is without pain. She has truly fought the good fight because she loves all of you. She is a blessing in the lives of many around the world.

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  2. Praying Jenni that you can spend a bit more time with your boys and that your pain is minimal. Huge hugs sweetie!

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  3. No words... just HUGE thanks for keeping us updated. She has touched alot of ppl & so have you! Just be the loving Dad, Jack needs.

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  4. Thinking of all of you from far away in Canada. The Hospice will have ideas/information to assist in dealing with Jack and his grief. All my best to you and Jenni, Jack and Jamie, Lee and everyone else close to her. She has fought hard and well and I hope she is comfortable and able to enjoy some time with her boys.

    Tory

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  5. Thank you David, again for your prompt updates. Prayers and love always flowing to you all. We are all together in this situation no matter how distant we can be, the world is small for those who care.
    <3

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  6. I pray that Jen is not in pain, and can find peace in the next step of this long journey. She is loved deeply by all who have crossed her path through this blog.

    David, just 2 weeks ago my step-father passed away from cancer. From the time they told us it would be hours or days, it was 7 days, but those 7 days seemed like an eternity. It's such a difficult time, and I pray for strength for all of you to endure the upcoming days/weeks. I know it's difficult to answers all the questions we have, but if possible can you please let us know if Jen's mother and sisters are able to be with her?

    thanks David. Your updates mean so much, and lately I find myself holding my breath when I check for new ones.

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  7. praying for Jenni and her boys and also for you David. Such difficult time for everyone. You are all in my thoughts.

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  8. Dear David-no words but lots of love. my thoughts are with you, the boys and of course Jenni. Thanks for posting this update. If you have a chance please hug her for me and tell her I love her.

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  9. David,
    I have been dreading the day when you would write a post like this but I knew it was coming. Please know that I am thinking of all of you and sending you love. I have been blogging with Jen for quite a long time now...please give her my love. I hope she has no pain.

    annie

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  10. Thoughts of love and prayers of peace for you all. Lisa

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  11. oh David...how dear of you in this awful time to keep posting to those of us waiting...a million thanks to you for taking such great care of darling Jack and please hug our dear girl and let her know we are praying that her steps to heaven will go easily and she will have no pain.

    much love...Sue in Spokane

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  12. Like everyone else, I am so sorry to hear this news, but knew it was coming, sooner or later. Love to all of you, and peace to ease you through this time.

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  13. Dear David-Thank you so much for your great kindness in thinking of us in this very sad time. We all love Jenni so much and we extend that love to you, her children and family and to the wondrous Lee. Jenni has fought so hard for every extra day. Now I can only say I love her and will miss her so much when she moves to a new life. She will always be in my heart. Please give her a hug and whisper softly that we are with her in spirit.
    Cathy in Boston

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  14. Yes, David, Jack will go through a time of the stages of grief - denial, anger, I don't know them all right off the bat, but I think there are five.

    But he will not "lose" what he's gained this year. He will need so much loving and hugging, and some freedom to vent, within your boundaries. Just lots of going through the grief with him, sitting with him, letting him express himself, and not trying to answer questions that have no answers.

    But it IS possible to know the One who does have the answers, and to reassure Jack that he CAN see his mother again if he believes in Jesus Christ and his gift to us of eternal life. And it is possible to reassure him that even though we don't know why this had to happen, that God will be with him always, and will give him those answers someday.

    I clearly remember the last days of both my parents' lives. Like another writer above said, they are very difficult days. Often the sick person cannot express himself anymore with words, but wants to. Often they are confused. It is maddening, and thank goodness for Hospice, who deals with this all the time. Thank God for Lee. I thank God for you, David, for being there for Jack and for Jenni, in spite of your history. God will give you strength as you need it.

    A lot of people are praying for you all. Tell Jenni we think of her every single day.

    Nancy

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  15. Just prayers for you all

    Lysa in CT

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  16. Thank you so much David!I was worried about Jen, Jack and you! Give all my love to Jen! She is so courageous and I have learnt so much through her kindness and attention! You, Jen and Jack are always on my mind. Thank you so much again David!

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  17. Hi all,

    David here again. No more news other than to say thanks and that Jack and I are going down to Frankston this afternoon for the weekend so will pass on all your thoughts, prayers and wishes to Jenni. Thanks from Lee and I too. I will let you all know how things are after the weekend.

    David.

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  18. Special thanks for taking the time to let us know about Jen. You're all in my thoughts and prayers here...candles lit, too. Peace and love to you. I have great trust that you will be able to give Jack what he needs. xoxo

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  19. Go to her...talk to her...touch her...tell her everything you always wanted to tell her..let Jack talk to her...and maybe get in bed with her...just be with her...cry...don't cry...

    Teehee...get some ice..it helps with the redness around the eyes...and remember...good boys do cry!

    Thinking of you David, and trust that you have a friend with whom you can be yourself, talk, cry, have a beer (That is what men do? yes?)

    thinking of you.

    in the end...love love love!

    And Jennie, heart-to-heart, always! xx

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  20. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.Such a sad time.

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  21. Love to you, Jen, Jack, Jamie and Lee. Very much in my thoughts xx

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  22. No words, just tears and a heart bursting with love for you all! May God be with you...

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  23. David,
    Please tell her that we are all praying for her and do not cease thinking about her. Blessings to you and Jack and Jamie. May you all be afforded more time together....quality time. Thank you Lee for your loving support of Jenni and to yo David also. Thanks for the update.
    Ruthie in California

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  24. There is no knowing, but if anyone has done the hard work and emotional coaching that is possible, it's the people who love Jack and Jamie. I ache to do more, but will go on as I have since first coming to "know" Jenni and simply send fiercest wishes for the love, light and peace to guide you through whatever is ahead.

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  25. Sending prayer and love to you all at this sad time, much love Suzanne.

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  26. I continue to think about you all. You have had such a long road. Much love and care from NE Ohio.

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  27. Dear David,
    I have been reading Jen's blog for quite along time..never posted. I just want you to know that this STANGER from San Diego admires Jen her boys and you. You can read from her post what a loving mother she is. I was diagnosed last oct with advance colon cancer. As of today I have no evidence of disease. I know that this can change with time or I will remain the same. Jen has taught me that no matter what life has to offer you good and bad she always has had Faith, Hope and Love. Please let her know that she has been a wonderful teacher to me. My prayers and love are being sent to you all. Carpe Diem...Debbie

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  28. hugs to all of you. this must be so terribly difficult...

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  29. sending my love to Jen, Jack and Jamie during this hard times.

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  30. Dear David, Jen & boys
    No words can express how deeply my heart and prayers go out to you now. Deep down you hope that there will be a small miracle that can undo this. No matter how prepared you are for this - you are never ready. I wish Jen no pain, some good quality time with the boys and hope that there is peace and that it is only an infection that gets under control.
    Peace, blessings and much love to you all.
    Nicky from Canada

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  31. Thank you for the update, David. No words, just prayers. xoxoxo

    ~ Wendy in New York

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  32. David,
    Thanks for the update. I hope Jenni can feel the love and prayers from New York! Take good care of that little boy...we are all here for you!
    Andrea

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  33. You, Jenny, and Jack are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending best wishes, peace, and love to all of you. Best, Eve in Silver Spring, MD

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  34. Please let her know she is in our hearts and prayers and really am speechless to say anything more as I don't know what helps to hear. I am thinking of her v. much and all of you too. Thank you for letting us know.

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  35. David
    Thanks for the continual updates for us all here.For we new the day a post of such would come it is still hard to comprehend..I am so sorry that this time is aproaching..Ohh how i wish it was not.

    You are all in my constant thoughts and prayers.

    I wish her pain not more, i wish you all the very best of strength and love to bind you all together over the next fews weeks..
    Love and Hugs
    Sarah M (A Scrapbooking Dolly)

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  36. David, please tell Jen i love her and that she is and always will remain a very special person in my life. we never did get to meet 'in the middle' and have tea with one another like we had hoped, but I know that one day we meet again...please tell her I am anxiously waiting for that day...and to save a cup for me. also please let her know that she is and always has been a source of inspiration in my life. i think of her every day (for the past 2 years) and pray for you, the boys and her.

    i love you sweet Jenni
    shelbi

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  37. David and Jenni,

    Praying for peace and grace in your lives.

    With a heart full of love.

    Jill

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  38. Hi David,
    Much love to you and Jenni and of course Jack. It's true that no matter how much you know and read, it is simply impossible to be completely prepared, but it is a blessing that Jack has settled into his new life well and made some good friends.
    I'm praying so much for peace for all of you.
    Love Wendy

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  39. Thanks so much for the updates, David.

    Sending love to Jenni and the boys, you and Lee too, for being there by her side and supporting and loving her so well.

    Wishing this wasn't happening and I'm so sorry to see such a loving person and family have to endure this.

    Keeping you all in my heart and prayers...
    Cate in California

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  40. Judi from Stratford On AvonSaturday, October 10, 2009 8:53:00 pm

    David, Jack and Jamie are so very lucky to have you and the love that Jen has showered them both with will be continued by you - you are such a good man. You, Jen, the boys and Lee fill my waking thoughts, my love to you all, Judi.

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  41. Praying for peace and hope in Christ for you, David, Jenni, the boys, and your family and friends. God has plans for you all. Trust in Him and in Him alone. Many around the world are praying for you--that's incredible in itself, huh! I hope the rest of her time on earth is spent in comfort and peace around those of you she loves the most in this world.

    You asked about what to say to the boys--do you know of a Christian pastor who might talk to them, if you're not too comfortable doing it yourself (like many of us would be too)? Children need to be reassured they WILL see their mother again for those who are in Christ--it's His promise! He overcame death when he died on the cross and rose again on the third day. And when we put our faith and trust in Him we can too! We just have to believe in our heart and profess with our mouth that He can cleanse us from sin and be our Lord and Savior and it's a done deal.
    Let Him be the anchor for your soul.

    Our thoughts and continual prayers are with you all. Much love.

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  42. David here,

    Just a quick note before bed. Jenni has rallied for now. It seems she has an infection and it has responded to drugs. She has been fairly pain free for a few days now but is very thin and getting weaker all the time. She managed to get home for dinner for a few hours friday night and we are hoping to get her home for a few hours tomorrow (Jack wants to show Mum how he can make his own brekky now! Toasted cheese sandwich and warm milk - microwaved) He's very proud of his achievement! Will keep you updated every few days or when I can.

    Thanks for everything.

    david.

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  43. Thank you David! Love to you all.
    Bete
    Hugs <3

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  44. Thank you for the update David.
    You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs,
    Dodie

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  45. Thanks, David. These rallies are equal parts spirit and support, you are all amazing!

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  46. Awesome, David! She will relish that her little boy is learning new things and that he is doing wonderfully and blossoming under your loving care. Please tell her we think of and pray for her all the time.
    Ruthie from California

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  47. David,
    We appreciate the update so much...I know Jen will be so pleased to see Jack making his own brekky. How lovely. I thought of you all so much today...wondering how everything is. I am sending you all my love,

    annie

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  48. I have only recently found your blog Jen and I was drawn to read every entry to learn as much about you as I could. You are an absolutely truly amazing woman and mother and you have fought so hard for such a long time. Your sons are lucky to have a mother that cares so much for them and even with all your struggles - you still manage to put their needs ahead of your own.
    Anyway Jen - Im hoping you will be well enough to read this for yourself, know that I am sending you all my Love, hugs, strength and prayers from Perth and am most definitely thinking of you often. Good to hear that your infection has responded to treatment and you are able to spend some precious time with your boys,Take care Jen. xxxx
    To David, Jack, Jamie, Lee and all of Jens family and friends- i also am sending my love, support and prayers to you. I wish you much strength on your own journeys with Jen. I helped my Dad through his battle with brain cancer last year and i know how hard it is to watch someone you love in pain and suffering, its heartbreaking.
    Thinking of you all
    much love
    Liza

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  49. Blessings to all of you.

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  50. Thanks for the update. That's wonderful news. Sending love and warm wishes. Jack and Jamie are so lucky to have such a fabulous and wonderful Mum (and Dad/Step-Dad). Enjoy this time ... I hope Jenni can try Jack's cooking!

    Tory

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  51. love and prayers to you. thanks for the update.
    Carol Saxton

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  52. Thanks so much for the update, David! I never thought I'd be so thrilled to hear it's an infection - seems so odd! - but I'm really happy Jenni isn't having pain and that she's able to get home. Nice work, Jack... very impressive that he's making his own brekky!
    Have a wonderful Sunday and I'm sending wishes and prayers across the miles of love, peace and joyful moments together.
    Best,
    Cate in California

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  53. Thank you again David for the update. Sending you all much love and prayers, Suzanne.

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  54. Thank you for the update David, I am relieved to hear it is an infection and I do so hope that Jenni makes it home to see Jack's wonderful new accomplishment. Wishing you all strength and love, from a reader halfway across the world.

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  55. You are all in my thoughts and prayer. Stay strong, sending love to all of you. Lean on God, he is there.
    Hugs,
    Rose (Classic Charm)

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  56. Thank you so much, David, for the news. It's so kind of you. I'm relieved too that our dear Jenni is responding to treatment and that she got home for dinner and will get to sample Jack's cooking! Yay for Jack! What a strong, independent boy! Sending love to you, David, the boys, and, of course, to our dear Jenni. She continues to be a light of inspiration and love in my heart. I love you, Jenni, and wish you peace and light on this part of your journey. We are with you always and I think of you every day. Hugs forever.

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  57. Yeah Jenni - you are such a fighter. Huge hugs. Hoping you get to see Jack make his breakfast. Such little things that we take for granted.

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  58. Dear Jen,
    I'm praying that you can enjoy each sweet moment with your loved ones to the fullest. Those of us who love you from afar are with you in spirit!

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  59. Dearest Jen,

    Wishing you peace in the days ahead.

    Love always from lisa in south florida

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  60. Dear Jenni: You've been on my mind a lot lately, even before I read David's latest updates. I find myself praying for you at random times throughout the day. I worry about your pain, in your body and in your heart. I ask God to fill you with peace and comfort, no matter what. No matter what, you are loved.

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  61. Jenni,

    Hiya Cutie. If you get a chance to read this, I'm thinking of you and sending you a big squishy hug across the miles.

    David, I do thank you for your updates. You don't have to but you do and I thank you for it. I hope Jack and Jamie get to steal some more time with their mum. Quality time.

    Love,
    Danielle

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  62. David,

    Thank you for keeping us in the loop.

    I am so happy to read that Jen is rallying. Every minute she gets to spend with Jack, I know is a healing balm for her.

    I am continuing to pray for Jen and also for you, David, and for Jamie and Jack.

    Peace and Blessings from Colorado.
    Emily.

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  63. David - Thank you for the continued updates. I pray daily for Jen & her beloved boys.

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  64. Sending you all love ... wish I could take away the pain.

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  65. Thank you David for the updates. I will keep Jenni in my thoughts. She is so amazingly strong and such an inspiration as are all of you.

    Hugz

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  66. I am sending all the love one can send from so far away. It will be alright, you are such wonderful parents. It will be painful, but it will be alright. All my love to Jen from Rome, Italy

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  67. Thanks for the update David - so glad the infection is getting under control.
    Deep in my thoughts Jen - many hugs and blessings for you.
    Nicky from Canada

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  68. Thinking of you all. My heart goes out to you - it's clear that those kids are so very loved. And so is Jenni. Wishing her pain-free days and nights and sending good wishes to all of you.

    Laurie from Ottawa (another mother with cancer)

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  69. David-
    Thank you so very much for the updates! Glad to hear that it was "just" an infection but that the pain has been kept at bay.
    Sending great love to Jenni from Max and I. Prayers, thoughts aer with you guys all the time. Lots of love to you all

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  70. You know in a way, seeing Jack making his own breakfast will give Jen peace in knowing he can make it without her everyday presence, I'll bet. That's great therapy, David!

    Thanks for sharing your family with us. Give her skinny body hugs from us too.

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  71. Thank you David for the updates and for the support you are providing for Jenni. People around the world are praying and offering their virtual support and love. Give Jack an extra hug tonight from his internet followers.

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  72. Sending peaceful thoughts and wishes to your entire family.

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  73. Thanks for the continued updates, David. It truly means so much to all of us who have been following Jenni's blog. God bless.

    ~ Wendy in New York

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  74. Just checking in on you, Jen... and sending you good thoughts and love across the miles.
    Thinking of you and the boys,
    Cate in California

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  75. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

    I hope Jenny knows how many people through out the world she has touched. Her strength, courage and love for her family is admired by me and many others.

    Maureen, USA

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  76. give jen and jack a hug from us...shelbi, david, austin, owen, hannah and emma. we ALL are praying for you each one of you.

    xoxo
    shelbi

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  77. Just checking in, send Jen my love and hugs
    Karen xx

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  78. Sending prayers of love and peace from Texas

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  79. My thoughts,prayers, and heart goes to Jen her precious children her family and friends.

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