Hi dear friends, I am home, yay! So very happy to be back that's for sure. I have so much to tell you all but first and foremost I want to thank you for your prayers and the love you have sent to me, I was/am touched by all the support and care you have shown me. I love you all so much. I know that you understand what happened when the surgeons opened me up, thanks to David updating my blog for me, the cancer had spread so far that if my surgeon cut it away he would have killed me - his exact words to me were "if I took anything, I think I would have finished you off, sometimes being a good surgeon means knowing when not to cut." I have immense faith in him and know that he would have done it if it was at all possible. I have cried many silent tears during the past 10 days, I have spent a lot of time trying to sort out my feelings, a lot of time going over my life like watching a movie and also trying to envision the rest of my life and what I want it to look like and be like. I don't care if I never do another bit of housework again if it means I get to spend time with my boys, my family, my friends. I don't have a lot of time so I want quality time, the only problem with this is that the pain is so darn difficult to get under control, still, I have some of the best people working on it so maybe something will work, I have hope in that area, I'll not give up hope until we have tried everything. Anyway darlings, I will come back very soon and tell you more, I love you all so much and thank you for caring about me, take care and more soon.