Saturday, 18 October 2008

I'm Home...

Hi dear friends, I am home, yay! So very happy to be back that's for sure. I have so much to tell you all but first and foremost I want to thank you for your prayers and the love you have sent to me, I was/am touched by all the support and care you have shown me. I love you all so much. I know that you understand what happened when the surgeons opened me up, thanks to David updating my blog for me, the cancer had spread so far that if my surgeon cut it away he would have killed me - his exact words to me were "if I took anything, I think I would have finished you off, sometimes being a good surgeon means knowing when not to cut." I have immense faith in him and know that he would have done it if it was at all possible. I have cried many silent tears during the past 10 days, I have spent a lot of time trying to sort out my feelings, a lot of time going over my life like watching a movie and also trying to envision the rest of my life and what I want it to look like and be like. I don't care if I never do another bit of housework again if it means I get to spend time with my boys, my family, my friends. I don't have a lot of time so I want quality time, the only problem with this is that the pain is so darn difficult to get under control, still, I have some of the best people working on it so maybe something will work, I have hope in that area, I'll not give up hope until we have tried everything. Anyway darlings, I will come back very soon and tell you more, I love you all so much and thank you for caring about me, take care and more soon.

71 comments:

  1. Welcome home my darling--to the place you are loved best. My heart is right there with you.

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  2. Oh, my heart fluttered when I clicked here and found your post. It is so good to "hear" your voice.

    Please know that I am praying so hard for your strength and relief from pain. You make us all so proud.

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  3. Good to hear from you, dearest. I'm glad you are home. Get some rest. I'll be thinking of you.

    Love,
    Danielle

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  4. The Curtis boys and their baby sister said a prayer for you today.....

    Love, Kim

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  5. Jen, may you know peace and comfort and relief from the pain so that you can enjoy your children and David and your home and all that lies ahead for you in the days and weeks to come. Thanks for keeping us up-to-date with what is going on with you. Write when you can, but know that you remain in my thoughts and prayers... even though I don't tell you on a regular basis. Peace to you and yours, dear Jen.

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  6. praying for you dear Jen...all the way from Spokane WA :*) you have a sweet, strong spirit and so many of us are right there fighting with you~! xo

    Sue

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  7. You are so strong! I pray you get the pain relief you seek. And lots of quality time with your boys.

    imstell

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  8. Put your feet up, let everyone fuss you, eat big boxes of violet creams and watch Billy Connolly - bit of a personal choice I suppose but he does cheer me up in my bleakest times.

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  9. Jen definitely no more housework - ever!!! You must take advantage of every minute you have, especially when it is pain-free (or less painful I suppose). I have prayed for you each and every day and night. I was so thankful for the updates, although saddened by the content of them. You are such a brave young woman! Such an inspiration. Definitely let anyone who will spoil you, do so. Hugs Jen! Lisa L.

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  10. God Bless Jen - so good to hear from you. Your so strong - I hope they can help with your pain. Thinking of you and in our family prayers.
    Nicky from Canada

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  11. Glad you are home Jen, I have been saying many prayers for you and your family.

    Love ya..
    Michael

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  12. Yes, Jen. So glad you are back safe in the comfort of your own home!

    Saving every ounce of energy for your kids and loved ones sounds like a brilliant idea to me.

    Praying God will take your pain and scatter it to the four corners of the earth!

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  13. I'm so glad to see your post. *big gentle hugs*

    Home is such a wonderful place compared to any hospital.

    I pray you get good pain control, and all your time is quality time in at least reasonable comfort.

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  14. I am so happy to know you are back home. As usual I have been thinking abou you. Take care!

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  15. Hi Jen ~ it is so nice to have you back. I have been thinking of you and wondering how you were doing.
    Sending you love and lots of big hugs
    Tabitha XXXXXXXXX

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  16. Yay - you are home! Housework - what's that? Certainly not important in the scheme of things. Your boys are your priority. Now you are going to tell me what I can do to help you spend quality time with them. Please.
    Lots of love and hugs,
    Karen xxxx

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  17. Welcome welcome H O M E! It is lovely to see all the love that is shared in this blog-world you created. Blessings. Susie

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  18. Sending positive thoughts and prayers from New York!

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  19. Glad to hear you're back home Jen - we're thinking about you every day.
    Best wishes
    Ed and Elspeth (my twin sister)

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  20. Jen - I'm happy you're home and so happy you have your sister, mother and David supporting you. You will be in my prayers, specifically I will be praying that you will have relief from your pain.

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  21. Jen,
    I'm glad you're home. I'm thinking of you and sending warm positive energy your way from Arizona!

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  22. jen...i haven't been here for a long time and for that I'm so sorry.....but I want you to know that you are thought of often and my prayers are still heading your way !!!!

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  23. I'm so glad you're home Jen. There really is "no place like home". I've been keeping up with things, thanks to David. I know you're disappointed and in pain. I'll be praying hard for you to get some relief soon. Update us as often as you can.

    Extra hugs for you sweet friend!
    Kat

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  24. I am really speechless. I just want you to know that I am not sure I would have your courage. I just don't.
    Off with housework's head I say.
    Don't lift a finger! Enjoy. I will cherish my days along with you and we'll talk about sunny skies and blue birds. By no means do you have to hold back your tears from us. We feel. I am holding back my tears as I write.

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  25. It's good to read your words again. Take care, rest, and shape your days just as you please, housework be damned. I think of you every time I clean my kitchen sink (ever since you recommended the FLY Lady to me!), and I also remember that stressing over the small stuff is never worth it. I thought you should know that you've had that influence on me. :) I'll keep praying, lighting candles, and thinking of you.

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  26. So sorry that you didn't get better news through all this and that the pain is back. Here's to hoping for some good days ahead. :)

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  27. Welcome home, Jen!!! I'm glad you're back with your boys and in a comfortable spot - your own house and not that hospital! Hopefully the docs will figure out how to manage your pain better so that you can enjoy life with ease.
    Thinking of you and sending you lots of healing thoughts, as always...
    Cate in Northern California

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  28. Hi Jen,

    Love wishes and prayers have been sent..

    Please rest and spend as much quality time with your precious little family..

    I hope you get some pain relief soon..
    Take care
    Sarah M

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  29. Oh yes, it is so good to have you back here. Continuing to pray for you, friend.

    Thank you so much for asking David to keep us updated. It was such a kind thing for you to do for us, even while you faced something so huge. Evidence (as if any was needed) of the hugeness of your heart.

    xo

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  30. Jen, Jen, Jen...sending love, best wishes and prayers. You are a beauty and I love 'knowing' you.
    Hopefully some solid answers and help can ease your pain so you may enjoy your time with family and friends (and not doing housework!!!) comfortably.

    Love ya,

    Cindy in Canada

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  31. Hi Sweetie....so glad that you are home, and so sorry for how things went for you. You are so wise...I know you will make the most of every second you have. Big huge hugs to you,
    Tara-Lynn from Canada xoxoxo

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  32. Darling Jen,
    So good to know you're home again to be with your boys, friends & family. Count always on me to sent you love.
    Bete

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  33. Dear Jen,

    Yes I too am so glad that your are home. I am thinking of you always and hoping the pain specialist can help you. Sending you a cyber hug....!!

    annie

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  34. Hello Jen - I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we all hoped for. I'm glad you're home again and I'm praying the pain specialist can help you be comfortable. Keeping you in thoughts and prayers.

    Sheila from west Michigan

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  35. Dear Jen,

    Like someone else above wrote, I was so excited to see that you yourself wrote today. This news is so awful to read and I can't know what you've been thinking and feeling, but one thing I do know: as big as that damned tumor is, your heart and love and capacity to be real is bigger. And always will be. You have made a huge impression on my life. I will be praying that your pain person will have some great ideas to make it bearable. You are loved, sister.
    Nancy

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  36. So glad you are home. I am sure you are overwhelmed with life right now and that is ok. Just take everything one minute at a time and love it all. Lots of prayers, love and hugs coming your way. Lynn in Texas

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  37. Dear sweet Jen,

    I am having trouble gathering words to tell you all that is on my heart at this moment, and since your time is more precious than ever, just know that I am, as always and always will be, praying for you and your sons.

    Debbie from Oregon

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  38. Dear Jen,
    you are always on my heart. such grief upon hearing this news. Praying that you are given the strength you need to love on your boys and that in spite of all you are enduring you will find moments of peace and comfort in the company of those who love you so very much.
    xo
    julia

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  39. Jen, I'm so glad to know you are home, and I'm hoping and praying that there will be a way found to control your pain. It's so good to ... yes, ... hear your voice! I'm glad too that you've decided to prioritise and realise that housework doesn't need to take any of your energy or time. Bless you.

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  40. Welcome home and back to the blogosphere. I wish you wonderful time with your boys, family and friends and perfect pain control. You have gone through so much with such grace. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  41. I'm glad you're home now with your family and friends. I hope that you can get the pain under control and just let everybody around you do for you now.

    Just enjoy loving and being loved. You've been in my thoughts since I first found your blog. You're an amazing woman!

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  42. So glad you are home...and praying for wonderful pain relief and lovely days with those you love.....

    Ginny

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  43. Jen my special friend
    It is great to hear you are home. I am with you on this journey holding your hand and giving you all the strength a friend can share. We will walk these steps together.. OK

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  44. Jen my special friend
    It is great to hear you are home. I am with you on this journey holding your hand and giving you all the strength a friend can share. We will walk these steps together.. OK

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  45. Wow, you are an amazing woman. You have my admiration and my prayers.

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  46. Welcome Home, Jenni,
    I have cried for you, too, these past days. We will all be here supporting you. Don't want to lose my bloggy friend.
    Ruthie from California

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  47. Jenni,You are beautiful on the inside and out. May God embrace you and your family in his loving arms.

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  48. Hi Jen I can't even contemplate what ur going through but just wanted to say....my thoughts are with u & ur family!
    I hope for the remainder time u have u live to the best that u can be.
    U've touch my heart & I feel for u & ur boy & family & friends.
    u have a bright shining soul even through this hideous disease...U SHINE!!
    welcome home gorgeous girl!
    Jxx

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  49. Thank you for asking David to update us. It was difficult while waiting for the news, so his updates were a Godsend. I was so sad to hear what you had to endure at the hospital, only to be told they couldn't operate, and still having to heal from the cut. I am always thinking of you, and wishing I could do more to make you comfortable. My thoughts and prayers are forever with you.

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  50. Morning Jenni! so glad you're home and in reasonable spirits. Yes, indeed, bugger the housework, eh?!

    Hope they find the perfect drug to ease your pain so you can spend some lovely time with your boys.

    Thinking of you.

    Beckyxxxxx

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  51. I add prayers to yours for a solution to the pain so the time you have with your boys improves in quality. Of course you have cried silent tears - this is so hard. Somehow your sharing of even this hard a journey gives great courage.

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  52. we have all been keeping a blog side vigil jen, i know sometimes i have checked several times i day, even though in knew there would be no news. Even though the outcome is not what we had all hoped for, it was still a big operation and I am glad you are safe recouperating in your lovely home and garden close to your boys. David did a great job for us. i hope your pain is under control and you are feelin a little stronger each day.
    Gab xox

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  53. I'm sorry they couldn't operate to reduce the pain, hoping they'll find something else that works well without leaving you snowed under.

    Take care and enjoy all of your time with your boys. Sending a hug and prayer.

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  54. Never wrote anything so far - suspect many of us read, weep and love you to bits but do not actually leave a note. Just desired to let you know that there is even more love out there for you than you already know. Very moved by your post (at work so will not be long) you go girl friend, may all your desires come true and the pain dissolve completely into the ether! Sophie in Londonxxx

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  55. Sending you love and comfort from Canada.

    BIG HUG!
    j

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  56. Oh Jenni,

    I have been thinking of you often and I feel at such a loss of what to say. I remember being in that same situation, going in not knowing what all they were going to find. For some reason, mine had not spread. We will never know why some of us get good news while others get sad news. It is so unfair. And you can say that, it is unfair. I don't understand it at all. I sit here weeping with tears that you are in pain and that you are crushed by the news. I wish I was there and could help you get through. I would do all of your housework and things so that you could concentrate on the boys and your family and friends. I wish you peace in the days ahead. I hope they get your meds adjusted so the pain in minimal. Please, lean on us all that you can, we care about you so very much.

    Christine

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  57. Jenn thinking of you all day to day. Praying and hoping.....

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  58. Thinking of you. Sending everything I've got.
    xxoo
    A

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  59. God bless you Jenni! I am pulling for you honey! I am sending out all the good energy I can for you! hang in there.

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  60. I'm happy to hear you're home and with family and friends.

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  61. Hey girl,

    I am here, along with your other friends. Virtually and in real life. You're an amazing creature, Jenni, and cancer can't obscure that. The real you shines on :)

    Much love.

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  62. So glad you are home with your family and surrounded by their love---and love sent your way from all over this beautiful planet.

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  63. You remain, as always, in my prayers.

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  64. i am so happy to hear from you again jenni, i missed you SO much!

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  65. Hi Jen,

    I was so excited to see that you left me a comment on my blog! My heart jumped when I saw your name...

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  66. Just saying hello...hello.
    How are you doing?

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  67. Hey Jenni:
    here's hug for today!

    Laura

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  68. Hi Jenni,
    I have been a follower of your blog now for a while, just wanted to let you know i am thinking of you.
    A big Hug from me to you

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