Friday, 25 July 2008

WOW 201 Posts...


Hi my blog family, do you know my last post was my 200th post and I didn't even register! Well, this is post number 201 so a bit of a milestone huh? Gosh, when I started blogging, I never dreamed that I would be so, so very glad I did. I wouldn't have dreamed I would have such a huge, wonderful, kind, generous, warm, loyal, caring, following. I just would never have believed it had anyone told me. But, here I am, still blogging away, getting all the support any girl could ever need. Always hurrying to my computer whenever I have something that I just must share with you. I came to my computer to blog to you tonight because I have spoken to Jack's teacher and I was so keen to share with you all about that, that I barely noticed that it was post number 201. I am sure that is why I didn't notice number 200, 'cause I am always so anxious to get down what I want to say to you all that I don't take any notice of anything until I'm done!

Anyway, thank you all for your response to my question about Jack's teacher. I see you were all in agreement and you know that helped me so much. Sometimes I doubt myself, which is just so silly because I am old enough now to know that I don't react unless there is just cause. Anyway, this was about my son so I knew I had to say something but I am so glad to hear that you all thought she was out of line too. I love John-Michaels' comment where he says, "When you ask "do you think she may have made that call based on what he looked like at the time" ... you are assuming that the Teacher is qualified to make that decision. That is what they have a Nurse for! That is why the school invests in the provision of a medical person for. That is NOT the decision for the Teacher to make. There ... you have my view on the matter" You are spot on John Michael and I needed that reminder, thank you sweet heart. Anyway, I phoned today in order to speak with Ms Vidoni (the teacher in question) and had to leave a message for her to get back to me, which she did at lunch time. She was very polite when she phoned and I told her that the reason Jack was absent was because he had 'severe' diarrhoea. I then told her that I was feeling quite upset as Jack told me that "he went to you twice and told you that he had pains and needed to go to the nurse and you told him to sit back down and you'd think about it!" She kept trying to interrupt me to say "no, it was only once, he only asked me if he could go to the nurse, he didn't say he had a sore tummy." Oh please, as if that is the point, I couldn't care less whether he told her once, twice or two hundred times, she should have done something for him. And then, to bother pointing out that he only asked for the nurse, he didn't say what for, well, I am sure she could have asked him, she didn't even bother. Anyway, this attitude was so transparent, it was so obvious that she knew she was in the wrong and was trying to cloud the issue with trivial little bits and pieces. However, I didn't let her get away with it, I spoke very sweetly to her, I wasn't horrid and I didn't lose my temper at any stage, I let her waffle on with her excuses and then I just said to her "well, next time Jack comes to you and says he needs the nurse, let him go at once please because he obviously tells the truth and I do not want to think of him sitting at his seat feeling ill because you wouldn't let him go." "Oh yep, oh for sure, yes no worries, of course, yes, it's just so hard to tell with Jack because he often looks so pale, I can usually tell with the kids when they're not well." Oh she made a mistake saying that to me dear readers, honestly, it is not her call, why would it hurt to send a child to the nurse even if you weren't sure, let the nurse decide just in case! What an ego! Well, I just responded with, 'from now on, we will let the nurse make that call and say yay or nay regarding whether he is sick or not', then more of the 'oh sure, oh yes, definitely from now on'. Anyway, you know, I don't actually feel all that much better. Don't get me wrong, I am glad that I have let her know that I don't think it's good enough and that Jack has a mother that will look out for him and is not afraid to say something on his behalf, but you know, it just shows me what type of person she is and Jack has another 18 months of her teaching him. It's not the first time something like this has happened either, about two weeks ago Jack asked his teacher whether he could go to the toilet and she said no. Well he had an accident in his pants and was too embarrassed to tell anyone so he had to sit with wet pants all day. Then a few days after that he asked her if he could go again and she said no, he told her he really needed to go, she wouldn't let him so he had another accident, this time, number two's. He was so embarrassed and again he didn't tell anyone, when I came to pick him up from school, I could smell this smell as we were walking out of the school towards the car, I said to him darling what is that smell, he pulled me over to him so he could whisper to me, and told me that his teacher wouldn't let him go to the teacher so he couldn't help it. He is only 6 years old! Anyway, I wrote her a letter about that one and I was very assertive and strong in saying that from now on if he needs to go to the toilet he must be allowed to go, even if it is during class time. So, all in all, she is a you know what, and I am not happy at all. I think this time, I will go to the Principal because this is the third time something awful has happened. The worst part about the day he messed his pants, is that he felt that it was his fault and he was in the wrong. I hate that, how dare she make my child feel that way, he has lost so much confidence, I am just so furious I can barely put it into words. Anyway, I think perhaps if after I've spoken with the Principal I don't feel any better I might ...oh I don't know, I was going to say maybe move him to another class, but his friends are in this class and it's not fair that he should have to leave them all because she is nasty to him. Well, I am not quite sure what I can do from there but if it keeps up she is likely to really cop it because, yes I am a nice person and I hate confrontation, BUT if my child is being messed with then I become a lioness and I will not shy away from taking her on. She will feel my wrath. I just don't want it to be that way because it takes energy, it's negative energy and it just feels yuk but I cannot and will not let my son be treated that way, it is terrible for his self esteem. I may just stand face to face with her and say 'I feel as though you don't actually like my son and you are letting it show and that is not good enough at all and if I have to take this further believe me I will, no matter how sick I am, I will not let this slide.' How about that? We'll see - but the whole thing is leaving a bitter taste in my mouth if you know what I mean.

Okay, getting off that for now, today Peter Mac phoned and I am now booked in for my last test which is the MRI, on Tuesday the 29th July. Then the surgeons, radiologists and everyone else that will have a part in this, will get together (they normally meet every Friday but in my case they will be getting together on the 8th of August which is the following Friday) and discuss my options and go over everything with a fine tooth comb. Then someone will phone me, either that same day or the following Monday, and ask me to come into clinic and tell me what the results are and what happens next. Very nerve racking isn't it? I actually have a lot on this week because on Monday (the day before I go to Peter Mac) I have an appt with my oncologist and then I have chemo after that, so I imagine I will feel pretty wrecked on the Tuesday, then the MRI will probably tire me out just because of the lack of energy from chemo, so I am going to try not to organize anything much for the rest of that week in case I need to rest, I may not, but just in case. I actually really want to go up to the school and become a reading mum in Jack's class. It will give me a first hand look at how she runs her class. The only reason I haven't already signed up is because I don't want to have to leave if I have surgery or if I get too run down and ill with treatment and then let them down. Still, if I make it known that it is probably a short term thing then perhaps it would be alright, I really think it is a great way to get a 'feel' for what goes on in a classroom. We shall see. Have you noticed I have got back onto that subject again....dear me, it really is bothering me isn't it. I am going to let it go for a while if I can, a little mental shake and picture something nice and relaxing. I know I will deal with it somehow so I can stop worrying so much I guess. See, where would I be without you guys to hear me out and share how I feel, I'd be lost. Thank you for 'listening' I trust your opinions and values so very much. I know I am so lucky and I have the best blog family in the world, I just quite simply do!

Anyway, I better finish up now, my 201st post is a very long one. Jack is asleep on the couch tonight, he is going to his Dads tomorrow for the night, I am a little worried as he has been sick but he was much, much better this afternoon and tonight so he decided he would still go. I know his Dad will look after him, I've already spoken with him and asked him to take it easy with Jack and told him why, etc, so that should all be okay and it will be good for me to have a break, I always enjoy it after he's been gone for a little while. At first I feel like I've lost my arm or my leg and the house feels deathly quiet but then it starts to sink in that I am truly on my own, I don't have to make food, or drinks or go out or do anything, I can just relax with a good book or catch up on some much needed sleep (exciting stuff I tell ya) and maybe do some art or scrapping. Okay my darlings, have a wonderful weekend, take good care of yourselves and each other, I love you all dearly, more soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

11 comments:

  1. I am totally upset with Jack's teacher - that is horrid. I don't understand the control issues that sometimes occur. I agree with the reading in the class room, do it if you can - it would help you understand how she runs her class.

    Hope all goes well next week - I will be off on holidays and have no computer access so will check in when I get back.
    Lots of blessings
    Nicky from Canada

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  2. Oh this topic is not a good one for me - I may get started and never stop. I hate, absolutely hate, that children are not treated as small people. If an adult had to go to the bathroom at work - they would have to be allowed to go PERIOD. It is their right. If an adult was sick, they'd be treated as if they were sick. Why do some adults treat children as if they don't really exist or have feelings, needs or wants. It infuriates me. I am so thrilled that you spoke up. We truly must advocate for these little people. I'm giving you a standing ovation.

    Oh and I'm praying as hard as ever that you will qualify for your surgery. Hugs Lisa

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  3. oh my. that back story adds so much to what you have previously said jen. there is absolutely no excuse for this kind of neglect. it's tantamount to torture. no wonder you're worried, as if you need extra worries on your already full plate. you are totally justified in escalating this to someone over this woman's head.

    i always wonder why people like this end up working with children. ugh.

    i hope you get some good rest while jack is spending time with his dad. and i pray that your upcoming procedures will go just as smoothly as the last one. many blessings to you...

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  4. Dear Jenni—Oh, it makes me so, so mad to think that teacher would not allow Jack to go to the bathroom. It's great you phoned her. I might also speak with the principal to make sure he/she knows the whole story. An incompetent teacher needs supervision.

    Volunteer as your schedule permits. It will be fun to be with the kids.

    Have a wonderful weekend, Jenni—you've taken care of things, now put your feet up! Take it a day at a time and know that we're thinking of you and sending love, always!

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  5. Okay... you are obviously far more gracious than I. Wouldn't let him use the washroom? I'd be in the principal's office. I would probably use bad language (which wouldn't help, I know). This is completely outrageous. Not only is it bad for his self-esteem, but it is really bad for his body! It's a health issue, not a control issue.

    Grrrrrr.

    So, I'll be praying over you... and over Jack. What a cool little person he is!

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  6. She needs to find another profession...one that doesn't deal directly with small children! I believe it's a fact, their bladders are SMALLER, duh! Glad you said your peace to her. Sad she couldn't keep quiet while you were stating your case--sounds pitiful. Man, I just don't get why some people cannot admit they're wrong when they know full well they are at fault. No excuse for neglecting a child. HOpe everything goes well now between her and your darling Jack. Have a great weekend!
    Kat

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  7. Oh.My.Word! I'm furious just thinking about that whole situation! I'd like to give her a piece of MY mind. Good grief!

    Ok...I'm counting to ten...maybe a hundred.

    Get some rest.

    Praying for you.
    Hugs!
    Kat

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  8. Don't start me on some teachers, I had a suicidal 13yo thanks to their lack of care and refusal to allow her to leave the classroom when her Tourette's was bad.
    Good on you Jen for standing up for Jack - she does not sound at all suitable for teaching little ones. Accidents happen but they are so embarassing for the child - we used to keep spare trackies in the parents room at the school so they didn't have to hide.
    I like the way they seem to be keeping you so well informed about the processes at Peter Mac.
    Went to Fiskars garage sale yesterday and bought even more paper - maybe I'd better scrap tonight too!
    love and hugs
    Kxx

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  9. This post made me very ANGRY! I think you have a great idea by getting involved in the class room if you can....then you can see first hand how she runs things.

    I am glad you wrote her a letter about this...you do not deny a child going to the bathroom....how terrible for poor Jack.

    You take care...good luck with your appointments.

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  10. you're such a good mama.
    I hope you had a good, and restful weekend.
    Thinking of you.
    Sending great big buckets full of love.

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  11. Jen,
    I finally had a moment to read this entry. My two cents? I would have gone to the principal from the first incident and raised hell! How dare that woman let this child wet his pants, sorry I have NO patience for something like this! How terrible.

    Secondly, I have been praying that all goes well and you will be able to have your surgery.

    Glad you had some time to pamper yourself. Stay strong sweetie.

    Hugs,
    Rose

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