Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Hope Springs Eternal.....

Hi dear readers, yes I have some hope in my heart this evening as I write you. It is a wild, woolly and stormy night outside but I sit here with an odd sense of calm. I have been to Peter McCallum Institute in Melbourne today and met with some world class surgeons. For my international readers, Peter McCallum is the top cancer institute we have in Australia. The reason I went to PM was to discuss my options of having surgery to cure me of this cancer. I had been told all along that there was nothing more to be done for me but we could try and prolong my life for approximately three years if the Avastin worked and I was lucky. Well, a couple weeks ago I went to meet with my Oncologist and he asked me whether I would be prepared to go and meet with some world class surgeons at Peter Mac. I was stunned of course and asked him why I would bother etc. He proceeded to tell me about another person he had met who was the same age as me with pretty much the same cancer as me at the same stage and that person had had surgery at Peter Mac and was now in remission and had been for some time so he phoned them and spoke to them about me and they said they would see me. They also told me today that my Oncologist had written them a lovely letter about me which was both surprising and really nice to hear! So, of course, I said I would meet with them. He was careful to tell me not to get my hopes up and that even if they could operate it would be a massive operation and I would be out of action for about 3 months and would need rehabilitation. So today I met with Craig, a lovely man who is one of the surgeons that I felt an instant connection with. He talked with us (Mum came along with me) and told me that he would require several tests be done before he would confirm whether or not I could be operated on. He did say however, that even if I could not have the surgery that he would come up with a treatment plan for me and prolong my life as long as possible. He talked of more radiation that even though my Oncologist had said I couldn't have he disagrees. He feels that I can safely have a bit more. He told us I would need to have a PET scan, a CT scan and and MRI plus bloods which I had done today and then day surgery where he would do exploratory surgery. Then he would get together with the other surgeons, radiologists, pretty much every man and his dog, they would put their heads together and decide whether or not I could be operated on. If I can be then it will be a cure. He said they will not put me through it unless they were very sure they could cure me as it was not worth all the trauma for the cancer to come back. He did say, based on what he has seen already, it looks like I am in with a good chance but no promises.

I left there feeling like I had been given a lifeline but I am a bit scared to get too hopeful in case they can't do it. I have mixed feelings actually, I mean if they can do it, although that would be just so wonderful it is a big, big op and it involves removing everything from my pelvis, everything! So that is quite nerve racking but way more nerve racking to have to die. If they can't do it then I will be really let down I guess, although, knowing me, I'll handle it somehow. At least, either way, I feel as though I am finally in fantastic hands, I have the utmost confidence in them and know they will do their absolute best for me. I made sure to let them know I had a six year old. No pressure, I said!

So that's where I'm at and of course I had to share with all of you. I will keep you posted as news comes in. It goes without saying, I know that you will all pray for me and the fact that you have been could have led me here, who knows. Please keep it up, especially at this time. Love to you all.

54 comments:

  1. Oh, I have to de-lurk to tell you how excited I am to read of this wonderful opportunity for you! My prayers for you are in overdrive, and, as usual, I will be thinking of you. Thank you so much for your touching, beautifully-written blog.

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  2. I am praying for you also Jen, this is a wonderful hope and wonderful news!!!

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  3. dear Jen!
    I have been a lurker on your blog for some time.Even tho i prayed for you every day and stalk your blog everyday i havent left a comment yet but this post made me de-luk :)
    honney be positive like you always have so far and just belive .
    you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!!
    xxxxx

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  4. What a wonderful post. I'm so happy that you have at least been given this opportunity. Thank goodness it was pursued. I'm praying that you are eligible for the surgery and a cure is in your future. What a blessing. Hugs Lisa

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  5. Jen, I am just keeping my fingers, toes and everything that I can crossed for you ~ this treatment would be so so wonderful!!
    Sending all my love and lots of hugs (as always),
    Take care ~ dear friend ~XXXXXXX

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  6. Oh my goodness - that is wonderful news. What a way to start off July! You are in my prayers daily and will continue to be. I would love to send you a card - is your address somewhere in your blog.

    Keep the spirit you have,

    Nancy (in North Carolina,USA)

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  7. Very good news. I hope evrything works out for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  8. What great news! I'm so excited for you and sending lots of prayers!

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  9. What amazing news. I've got everything crossed.

    cheers

    leeanne x

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  10. They are brilliant in at Peter Mc -but they are also realists so you are in great hands. I am glad you mum was with you.
    Love and hugs
    K xx

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  11. I have done work with researchers from Peter Mac (through the National Cancer Institute here in the US) and they really are on the cutting edge. I will be saying prayers and lighting candles for you.

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  12. Hope springs! Fingers still crossed>
    xox

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  13. Dearest Jenni—Our prayers are with you every day! Everything you need is coming to you. So wonderful!

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  14. Oh Jen, I am sitting here with chills over my body and tears in my eyes.

    I pray for the best outcome possible. God has brought us all together.

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  15. Wow, that is good news. The fact they are willing to meet with you and go ahead with the scans and exploratory surgery is wonderful. Like Tabitha, I have fingers and toes and everything else crossed in hopes you receive good news after the initial tests.

    Love to you,
    Danielle

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  16. Jen, I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I so hope that this works. I want you to have years and years with your boy.

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  17. As I read this chills of hope spread through me! With you and all your fans in prayer, Debbie

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  18. I am cautiously hopeful for you too. Such good news. This doctor sounds amazing and perfect for you. I am so grateful you found eachother...
    My heart is so happy for you right now. The idea of it all is so hopeful.
    Thanks for the update and for visiting me at my blog. It's so nice to hear from you as you have been in my thoughts so much since I stumbled across your blog months ago.
    Love to you too...

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  19. Trust baby...Just trust. Jump up into the sky and ride the winds of trust. The universe will take you where you need to go and you can be sure that whereever it is it is where you need to be.
    I love you so much and can't tell you how incredibly happy this post has just made me.

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  20. Jenn maybe your were you need to be and am cautiously hopeful as well.
    Realist and brillant a good combo for a doctor.
    My thoughts and prayers go with you.
    Thanks for the comments on my blog.
    Sending hugs your way.
    Kerry

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  21. This absolutely just makes my day, Jenni B. You must be so happy! I wish I lived in Australia so I could bring you daisies and a bottle of wine!

    xo

    Jill

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  22. jeni, this is such wonderful news..i am praying as always and keeping the hope going!

    i love you!
    shelbi

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  23. Wow - this is just awesome. Whatever comes from this will be just wonderful. Way to go!

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  24. Wowsie! I WILL pray for you, I think that this physican sounds wonderful and kind and very capable.

    Please keep us updated.
    Love, Susan

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  25. oh my goodness, Jen, how absolutely bloody wonderful!!!!!! Words really can't express how fantastic this is....even if, at the very least, you have some good, confident, competent doctors looking out for you....it is just so fantastic....such a relief.

    wooohooo!

    I have everything, absolutely EVERYTHING crossed for you Jen!

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  26. What wonderful news! Hope all the testing goes well and they are able to go ahead with the surgery.

    Oh, my goodness. I'm so excited for you and your boys!!!

    Cindy

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  27. Sounds like a plan Jen. Of course I'm praying for you - you know that already-Keep hope alive. One can surmise that attitude and hope can only do right by your body and spirit.
    yeaaa.

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  28. Sounds like a plan Jen. Of course I'm praying for you - you know that already-Keep hope alive. One can surmise that attitude and hope can only do right by your body and spirit.
    yeaaa.

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  29. Not much to add to all that the others have said... except YES, YES, YES! We will all be praying and meditating and lighting candles and doing whatever else we can think of on your behalf. May hope spring and jump and rise and lift you up and through whatever is still to come.

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  30. oh dear, wherever this leads you, know that you have many hearts lifting you up and many souls holding our breath and waiting with you. much love!

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  31. I too must de-lurk to say I am thankful the prayers of many of your friends have been answered. This new possibility is fabulous news...the experience of world experts will be focused on you. I will remember you in my prayers tonight. God Bless you, your friend Sheila from west Michigan.

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  32. Dear Jen, This is wonderful news. Hope is a scarey thing but without it we have nothing. Your mom must be feeling excited and about a million other emotions tonight. No matter what I am happy that you were given this chance.And also you are sounding so good these last few weeks. You needed a break from that awful pain and then you got one. Wow, I love you Jen. deb

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  33. Dear, dear Jen... Have been travelling and when i got the chance to check on blogs tonight, yours was the first one I came to - delighted to hear this hopeful news. You've been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be there. Blessings to you, Imelda

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  34. What wonderful news!!! SO HAPPY for you!!!!(and for your boys) I will be praying for you all.

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  35. This news is terrific! How wonderful. I am glad that you have brilliant, caring people taking care of you. Our prayers are with you all the time!
    Love ruthie from califona

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  36. That is fabulous! Just plain fabulous.

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  37. OH HONEY

    This sounds scaringly fantastic... gosh I sooooooo hope this is part of an answer.
    You are such a brave strong lady and I am so proud of you. I am honoured to be a part of the support network you have established. No matter what the answer Jen... WE CAN DO THIS!!
    You have developed a wonderfully strong amazing creative intelligent group of friends who will be there every step of the way for you.
    With that much love in your life.... anything is possible.

    Talk soon
    Huggles

    C

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  38. Good news!
    You're always in my daily prayers.
    Love,
    Bete

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  39. This is great news- it makes my day... I will be sending positive energy all the way from Toronto, Canada.

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  40. Jen
    This is exciting news and I will say many prayers hoping that the surgery will be a go!!! I think it was that kind of a weekend, we had our final meeting for a service dog for our 6 year old son who is autistic. It would bring him a new lease on life, and even though the wait for the dog is 2 years - it is so much to look forward to!!! We still are waiting for our official acceptance but the meeting was beneficial and had great fibs!!!
    God Bless to you and your family!!!
    Nicky from Canada

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  41. Dear Jen,

    I am just so happy to read this news! They are going to say yes and it is going to work--I just know it!!

    As always, I am thinking of you...

    annie

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  42. Sending you strength to carry your hope.

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  43. Jen - What an incredible gift hope is! I will be praying round the clock!

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  44. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you! I'm so glad that there may be more options!

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  45. This sounds like really great news....will pray that they can help you. Take good care. xoxoxo

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  46. OH Jen....what great news !! I'm doing a little happy dance for you right this very minute !!!
    I will continue to kep my prayers sent your way and thoughts of you warmed by the sun.

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  47. Oh Jen,

    How marvellous! Sending you postive thoughts!!

    Jemma

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  48. Jen- great news. I am praying that this is a path for you and that this treatment is a go!

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  49. I know! I know! Here I am, a big, old, 'tough,' 20 stone ex-Marine who has over 30 years experience as primary care-giver for a son with cerebral palsy ... and I am 'supposed' to be 'weathered' and 'seasoned' to be beyond sensitivity and vulnerability. Balderdash! I have never, in any or all of my experience, been more concerned, more tenderly caring, or more intensely committed to anyone than I am to You ... my precious Gift of Heaven. My very Soul aches with an all-encompassing desire for your joyful freedom from this Monster that threatens your happiness and full life. You have, as your unwavering resource, any and all of who I am as a resource for your life's fullest and most delightful realization, of all that is Good.

    I love You, Dear Friend.

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  50. jen...i've been reading your blog for months and have prayed for you daily. what a fantastic...hopeful...and scary opportunity you are facing. you are a survivor and a daily inspiration. God will continue to be with you and carry you through. your blog family will keep praying. you are amazing.
    vicki

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  51. Wow Jean! I've been away dealing with my own 2nd scare...praise God I finally heard yesterday that the results are benign! So I'm just now reading this wonderful news! I believe in my heart that this is the miracle we (your blog family) have all been praying for! Praise God from whom ALL blessing flow!

    Big hugs sweet friend!

    Kat

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  52. I am crying right now. It is so so wonderful to have some HOPE. I am sorry that I am a 'not often' commenter, but I read every entry - this is wonderful news.

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