Tuesday, 20 May 2008

I'm Home and Okay...

Yes thank you all so much for your good wishes and prayers. I am always a little nervous and uptight on chemo days but it went okay, although I had a nurse that wasn't too sure of her job and kept me there hours longer than I should have been, so I wasn't thrilled about that, it's not the kind of place you want to just hang out in any longer than you have to. Never mind, I finally got done and home. I walked in to a messy house, I hadn't done the breakfast dishes or made beds and there were toys everywhere and OMG on the list goes. I nearly sat down in the hall way and cried. Instead I took a deep breath and got up and started cleaning, running round the house putting away as much as I possibly could. I was dripping with sweat, (a side affect of cancer) but I got a heap done. Mum popped in after work to see whether I wanted a hand with dinner and I just looked at her and said "I don't even kno
w what to do for dinner tonight" she saw a whole lot of sausage rolls on the bench and said "would they eat those?" I was a little annoyed to say the least, "No, they need a proper meal, they've got school tomorrow" anyway, I started pulling things out of the fridge and she must have felt a bit bad and ended up helping and actually cooking the dinner and even did the dishes when we were finished. She did point out that I looked very grumpy and I guess I did. You know I suppose I had that 15 minutes of self pity when I walked in the house and saw it like it was, I just thought gosh wouldn't it be nice if someone had helped me out today when I had chemo, instead I have to come home and do it all, (except dinner) which I very nearly did myself anyway. So I am just being sulky and childish and I snapped myself out of it as quickly as I could. I just felt a bit overwhelmed.

Anyway all is well now, Jack is bathed and we have all eaten dinner, Jack is having a quick game before bed and a good sleep, Jamie is watching something in his room and I am having a cup of tea whilst I do a quick catch up post to you guys. Oh also something lovely happened to me today, I got the mail and in it was a beautiful present and card from the beautiful Beth of More Doors Blog, she won a Superhero Designs necklace by Andrea in the Ebay competition and she gifted it to me instead, saying this:

"Jen...because you are my superhero I wanted you to have this. I won this in the ebay auction that was held for you, with no intention of keeping it for myself. You are the superhero to many...especially your blog readers, and I hope this will make you smile today and many more days to come!! My continued hugs and prayers to you my friend Love Beth." I hope she doesn't mind me sharing her sweet words here with you on the blog, please forgive me Beth, it was just so beautiful, I had to."

Isn't that the sweetest thing? I am truly touched Beth and I LOVE the necklace so much, thank you, thank you , thank you. Just a lovely, kind, thoughtful thing to do. It really helped me get into a nicer frame of mind and to feel less stressed. Honestly I have the best blogger friends anywhere! I have other gifts too that I must share with you in the next day or so, including some books, some poetry, etc, etc. More soon, take good care of yourselves and each other and thank you again for all your prayers and thoughts, I appreciate each and every one.

26 comments:

  1. your courage and strenght continues to amaze me. i'm keeping you in my prayers today.

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  2. I have been out of computers reach for a few days and happy to hear that you are thinking of moving closer to David - I think it would be good for Jack and as long as you continue to get the support you need - you are being an amazming mom through all of this!!
    Glad you were feeling better and able to go to chemo, keep strong girl!!
    God Bless you
    Nicky from Canda

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  3. Such truth, superhero Jen!

    Keep leaping what seems insurmountable.
    Keep looking straight through the murky to see truth.
    Keep loving your family lavishly.

    Wooot!

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  4. Only 15 minutes of self pity? Promise me you'll be more generous with yourself. Loving you.

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  5. Dear Jenni,
    When you're arising (waking up from bed) we, here in Europe, are preapring dinner but by internet we can be always in contact... the distances desapear. So, I wish you a good day today. I'm sure the Angels guide you and your boys too. I've been sending you reiki every time i can.
    Sending love,
    Bete

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  6. Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs,
    Take care my friend.
    love, Tabitha XXX

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  7. I'm glad you got through your chemo day ok, and you were entitled to wish for a bit of care and comfort when you got home, so I don't think it's self-pity on your part. You are such a trooper!

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  8. A song came to mind as I think of You right now (You have a way of doing that Jen.) Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, everything that's wonderful is how I feel when ... thinking of you." (yes I did change a few words ... but you put the song in my Heart!) I love you so much. And am so glad that we know each other. What a gift!

    Loving You ... and celebrating that truth!

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  9. OH JEN...
    I'm so glad the necklace got there safe and sound....I was worried about the distance it was traveling !!

    And don't you ever forget that you are a super hero to all of us !!!

    And as always, my prayers are sent to you !!!

    hugs to you Jen....beth

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  10. Jen, don't be so hard on yourself - I feel like that every night when I come home and there is stuff everywhere. If you didn't feel some self pity at times you would not be normal. Maybe either you could organise that on chemo days there is something simple in the fridge or freezer that Jack or Jamie can help put together for dinner - pasta, salad. You don't have to do everything.
    Have a good rest today
    Love and hugs
    K xx

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  11. You truly are a Superhero. But remember, even Superheros get to be grumpy and tired and sad and overwhelmed sometimes. Feeling that way in no way diminishes Superhero Status.

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  12. I couldn't imagine what you are going through at the moment. You are bloody amazing.

    I have this silly thing where I think I will do more/extra today while I can or have the energy to make the Katherine of tomorrow happy... sometimes it works.

    I am sending you some energy helper vibes across the ditch, they are pinky red with little mint green dots.

    katherine

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  13. Jen, I apologize that it has been a few days since I've been able to get on to read your posts. This is my extremely busy time of year at work.

    I've been thinking about your post about possible moving so that Jack could be nearer his father. Your thinking of doing this is just one more demonstration of what an outstanding mother and person you are. I do agree that it would probably be helpful to Jack, and in turn will hopefully be helpful to your, too. Additionally, I want you to ensure that you will be able to get the care and love that you need. I will pray that God continues to give you the strength and insight you need to make these decisions.

    I know how oppressive a day in the treatment room can be. Don't beat up on yourself for feeling a bit neglected because it is completely understandable.

    My prayers for you continue, dear one.

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  14. Hey Jen,
    Glad you're home, tired, a little frustrated, but again, returning to your sweet, kind, thankful self. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself though...if I were in your shoes, I'm sure I wouldn't be nearly as graceful as you...
    Rest well and all my best to you and the boys,
    Kathy

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  15. Jen,

    I don't have an email address for you - but is there a way we can make a donation for you to get some help on the days you have chemo - someone to clean and cook for a few hours? I would SO love to do that. Paypal would be great, since it would give you almost direct access, but seriously, I would so want to come over and do it myself and since I can't, I'd love to help make it possible.

    You are a trooper and an example to us all. And grumpy? Girl, if anyone has the right...... plus I think I would be BEYOND grumpy 24/7!!!!

    Much, much love, and PLEASE let me/us know if there is a way we can make this happen, even if it is only a few times. My email is jeanineguidry@mac.com.

    Jeanine

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  16. Jen,

    I don't have an email address for you - but is there a way we can make a donation for you to get some help on the days you have chemo - someone to clean and cook for a few hours? I would SO love to do that. Paypal would be great, since it would give you almost direct access, but seriously, I would so want to come over and do it myself and since I can't, I'd love to help make it possible.

    You are a trooper and an example to us all. And grumpy? Girl, if anyone has the right...... plus I think I would be BEYOND grumpy 24/7!!!!

    Much, much love, and PLEASE let me/us know if there is a way we can make this happen, even if it is only a few times. My email is jeanineguidry@mac.com.

    Jeanine

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  17. Oh and Jen..... could you email me your mailing address? (jeanineguidry@mac.com) I have something I'd like to send you.
    Jeanine

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  18. I noticed your link to freerice and I thought I would let you know of another great charity site which is AIDtoCHILDREN.com. It donates money to children in need through World Vision.

    Check it out at http://www.aidtochildren.com

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  19. You deserve to feel overwhelmed. I wish I lived somewhere close and I would come over once a week and clean and help make meals to freeze. Could you post a note at church? What about having a teacher organize something through your son's school. Or do the highschool students have to do volunteer hours that could be used helping out at your place. Sometimes all it takes is asking and people will come forward. If someone organizes it they can make a schedule. I've helped out here in my own community that way. If everyone puts in a couple hours a week it adds up quickly. And you deserve it!

    P.S. Can you send me your mailing addy too. Just send to lucchese@sympatico.ca

    Take care of yourself. And go right ahead and feel sad, rotten, angry, overwhelmed...whatever you want! Hugs Lisa

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  20. Hi Jen,
    I love it that you are real. You are teaching me how important it is to reach out and help people who are in need. It is important for us all to reach out and respond and be ready to lend a helping hand to those who are sick. Sometimes it is so hard to ask for help, so we cannot use that as our guide....we have to reach out, take meals, send a card, make that phone call, and let those people know that they are not forgotten and that we back up our concern and love with real action. LOVE is a verb!

    Bless you this day,
    Ruthie from California

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  21. Hi Jenni! I'm so glad that help arrived and wish we were all there to pitch in. May your days get easier and easier! Of course, it is so normal to feel cranky and overwhelmed. But what is so beautiful and amazing is the way your wondrous loving spirit shines through! Sending love and big hugs.

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  22. Hi Jen

    I hope you're having a good "day after chemo". Gosh I wish all us blogger friends live close enough to do more for you. Between all of us, we would treat you like a queen every day, not just chemo days. Take care of yourself...who cares if the house is messy. Rest and let the chemo do its magic.

    Love and hugs!
    Kat

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  23. oh honey, those days are rough. when you just needed somebody to come and know what needs to be done, and then do it. And instead you feel you are left doing it all yourself, as usual.
    It makes me happy that you got this little pick me up. what a lovely gift and it made me smile all over.
    you deserve it wild warrior woman. because you are hero to so many, and you are the hero of your own life.
    i love you,
    Bella

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  24. We all snap from time to time. The best thing to do is dust off and move forward. You've taught us all how precious we have to treat each moment.

    Hope the weekend ahead is sweet and slow and filled with sunlight and laughter.

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  25. Dear Jen,

    I'm sorry I didn't see your comment and invitation to visit on my blog until after we returned.

    If I could have done those chores for you that day I would gladly have, my friend.

    You continue to amaze & inspire.

    Kia Kaha (Stand Strong)xx

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  26. I, too, wish you had more help when you need it. (My son would be eating peanut butter and jelly constantly if I were going through what you're going through!)

    you inspire...

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