Dear friends, I feel so much love and gratitude in my heart lately because of each and every one of you, your comments are so very wise and heartfelt and beautiful. The kindness and strength of the amazing response to my cry for the answer to "What Would You Do..." honored me and respected me. Not only did you willingly share your answers with me but you put great thought into them, took my question so seriously because you knew it really was so serious for me, you thought about it and you gave me hope whilst you examined your lives and what those lives meant, what was really important, how you would do things differently, many of you wouldn't change much at all. You took a very painful journey for me and I felt heard, you honored me by the truthfulness and thought that went into those answers, you then proceeded to show such empathy towards me and my boys that my heart bubbled over. When I asked that question, originally to my dear friend Meg, whose opinion I so needed to hear, for I knew she would answer it with all the beauty and honesty that lie within that woman's heart. I knew she would really try to put herself there and feel what it would be like, I trusted her to give me her very best answer and thoughts. A part of me felt uneasy asking her to consider such a horrendous thing happening and I did say to her, if this is too difficult then please don't do it. She explained to me that yes it was difficult but that she would do it and then this amazing woman told me later on that she was so very glad she had done it. Now although I wanted Megs opinion and I trusted her to handle that question with care, I wasn't sure what would happen when I put it out there in a post on my blog. I did it because I was interested, I was desperate, I wanted answers, I wanted people to feel, and have to stop their busy lives and have to think like I had to, selfish I guess but that is the way of it. However, I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams the response that I got to that question. I have already said that the content of those answers were so truthful and thoughtful, the answers moved me deeply, the fact that you answered moved me so deeply. Still, not only did you answer me with so much feeling and depth and love but you continued to keep coming back and take care of me, check on me, say prayers for me and wanting me to know, wanting me to feel loved - and I did, I couldn't believe it at first, I just thought this just doesn't happen, people are mostly selfish and busy and too strung out with their own stuff to care about mine. Boy was I wrong, the women (and the one or two men) that have become what I think of as my 'carers' would not budge, they/you were there for me night and day, no matter what country, no matter what religion, you prayed for me, hoped for me, cried for me, reached out to me and still do, I am embraced and enfolded in your love and I feel calm, quiet and as if I am exactly where I am meant to be. As if this is unfolding in the exact way it should. I will still have my days of total fear and horror but I go back to my roots, back to the things that bring me comfort and are important to me and the comments and emails on my computer from you, are one of the first places I come too. It helps, it truly does. Thank you doesn't cut it, I am not writer enough to write how I feel in beautiful prose, I will just have to settle for speaking from my heart and hoping like hell it sounds how it did in my heart and head. I just want you to know that your prayers, your kindness and caring, your thoughtfulness and love have gone a long, long way to helping me to cope as well as I can with this very frightening journey I have looming up in front of me. Much love back to you all and for all your prayers, I pray with gratitude for all of you every night and several times throughout my days. Thank you for taking me and my boys into your hearts.