Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Off The Air...

Hi my friends I am sorry I have not posted for so long, I hope no-one was too worried about me. I am fine now but I did have to go and spend some time in hospice as the medication I was taking was making me terribly tired and a bit disorientated. I actually did hurt myself, not too badly but bad enough that something needed to be done. Oh and I am so sorry to people that I was supposed to get back too and to people I had things organized with (Wendy, Leeanne so sorry girls). I was at the computer one afternoon and I must have just fallen asleep sitting there which I have done so many times before but this time I smashed my face down onto the keyboard and the edge of the desk and bruised my nose and eyes. It's more like I go unconscious than fall asleep because nothing wakes me and I just do it without any warning. I think I have written before about how I can be reading to Jack and I start speaking all this gobbledy gook and then I just fall asleep right there with his book in my hands. He now gets to me before I actually fall asleep, as soon as I start using strange words he shakes me hard and yells "you're doing it again Mum!" I then shake myself mentally and manage to wake up before I fall completely out of it. Anyway, long story short, I phoned my Pain medication manager/doctor and he told me I had to go into the palliative unit that very afternoon as he was concerned and he wanted to monitor me overnight and perhaps adjust my medications slightly but while he was watching me so nothing would happen to me. So I raced around getting organized, forgot about everyone and everything I had organized stuff with and got into hospice and looked after. It was lovely to have a rest and to be waited on and I may need to go back because if this stuff he's got me trying now doesn't work then he needs me to go in for perhaps even 10 days - 2 weeks. That is really difficult for me to organize Jack around, however my Mum has offered to move in here for that amount of time if need be and mind Jack, which is very generous of her. Anyway hopefully this will work and I won't have to go back at all, that would be very nice. I don't know though, I still have so much trouble remembering things. It's like I say something to someone, or they say it to me and I take it in at the time but later or next day, it's like I wonder did that person say this or did she say it last week, or when did I have that appointment, oh I thought it was next week ( then it turns out it is next week already) just crazy stuff like that. Now I don't know if I am just exhausted and then mix that with the chemo and I just can't stay awake and my brain cannot function properly or whether there is something more sinister at play here. Anyway, we will get to the bottom of it as Brian will continue working with until every thing is sorted out.

Anyway I have to go now I just snuck in a quick post before my appointment but I promise I will post more tonight (unless I get too sick). Thank you all for still supporting me even when I am away from the blog a while, I still read your comments and emails and they make me smile. Take care and more very soon xx

24 comments:

  1. Nah...not worried about you at all...much!
    I hope the medicos can find some way to help you.
    Take care
    Hugs
    K xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jen;

    You are an incredibly brave and inspirational woman who epitomizes grace. I came across your blog (via Jen Lemen) and just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you have people all over the world who care--and are hoping you find comfort and peace. Your blog has given me much to think about and I thank you for "putting it all out there" and sharing your life and struggles with us. My heart goes out to you.
    (((Hug)))
    M

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jen, I really think that you need to not worry about arrangements made with other people. People surely, surely, understand that you would be doing those things if you could, but that Right now, when these things happen, you simply have to get yourself looked after. I'm hoping and praying that you will find a medication that helps for this, but that the rest will do you good. Blessings to you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope you are feeling better Jen, and that all goes well today. As usual I am thinking of you and carrying some of the worries for you. Wishing you all the best for a healthy and speedy receovery!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have a cheering section here, Jen. You are in our hearts.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A couple of weeks might be just the thing you need...glad to hear you're getting good care and that your Mum is willing to do so much. That's wonderful!

    BIG BIG HUG!
    j

    ReplyDelete
  7. So did you end up with a square key imprint on your nose and forehead? I'm so glad your mom could come stay with Jack... and am praying that they will sort this out. To your mum: Thank you. I wish I could come and stay with Jack, like a borrowed granny, but can't. Jenn, you are a SWEETHEART, and Psychicgeek is right... your cheering section loves you and Jack!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Take care sweetie. I'm saying a prayer for you and sending good thoughts, down under.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd like to add my voice to the choir of friends who love you and are lifting you up in prayer. I hope these days of quiet care restore the strength and peace and alertness you need to care for yourself and your son. Rest well, dear Jen. Peace to you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Take care of yourself....and I hope they get your meds sorted soon. Of course Wendy and I totally totally understand about last wednesday. I'm sure when you're up to it we will catch up.

    Thinking of you always

    *heart*
    Leeanne x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Still here and thinking about you! I hope this new medication works!

    ReplyDelete
  12. still here thinking of you so often....keep taking care of you !!!

    xoxo beth

    ReplyDelete
  13. It breaks my heart how much you're shouldering on your own, and I don't say that because you write here complaining, but for the opposite reason: you write here with such an absence of complaint.

    Your honesty and ability to share is truly inspiring. I will keep coming back regardless of how much time you must be away for yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I didn't read so carefully...you mum WILL come if needed. OK, got it now.

    luvya, Nancy

    ReplyDelete
  15. Jen darling-I am sending you love, prayers and support. Do not worry about us. Instead, know that each and every one of us is holding you in our hearts. I am glad you are taking the time to get some help from Brian. Love and blessings to you
    xoxoxo
    your soul sister on the other side of the world

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dear Jen,
    Hello sweetie. I hope you feel better very soon and get the rest you need. It is so nice that your Mum can take care of Jack. It's funny how you worry about all of us, you are being prayed for and thought of everyday. Hugs and love~Rosemary

    ReplyDelete
  17. HiJen,
    You're in my thoughts and prayers. Don't worry about us! We're all here in your corner.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Take care of yourself, dear girl. We'll keep lifting you up in spirit and prayer no matter how often you post. 'Cause this community is groovy like that. :) Peace and love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi Jen,
    My goodness, that is some drama - narcolepsy? Yikes. Really happy you weren't driving or something! Glad they're getting it sorted out for you.

    Take good care of yourself and of course we'll all still be here when you return/post again. In the meantime, sending you good thoughts and prayers as always!

    xo,
    Cate

    ReplyDelete
  20. You have the most beautiful soul,

    God bless you friend,

    Sending healing, Sending peace, and love on the arms of this evening,

    Maithri

    ReplyDelete
  21. You do whatever you need to feel better, we'll be here.

    ReplyDelete
  22. There is an air of matter-of-factness in your writing, but I believe that underneath it all you'd love us all to come over, hold you in our arms, make you some tea, and let you know that we're here for you and everything is going to be alright.

    As it is, I'll just send you that loving energy as often as I can.

    ReplyDelete