Sunday, 6 January 2008

Some Relief...

Yes dear friends, finally some relief from the dreaded pain that has been weighing me down so heavily. I am on a gamut of prescription pain killers, I can't sleep on them very well, yet when I sit down to type or something similar, I will literally fall asleep for moments at a time. Not a great way to be, however, compared to that all consuming pain, it is heaven. I will be seeing a Specialist on Monday (I think) and he will explain to me where we go from here, which, I have been led to believe will be straight to hospital for an operation - yes another one! I have so much going on with my poor body and I promise to be brave and come out and share the reality with you soon. I have kept a lot of things very private in regards to my health but I don't think it is doing anybody any favours and I feel it is time to come out of the closet so to speak. Some of the side affects and changes in my body since my first battle with Cancer have been rather hard to take, especially for a young(ish) woman that is still to find a partner in life. However, I have handled it well enough to get by now for about 4 years, it's just that I don't share much about the issues that come with this kind of surgery. Women who suffer with breast cancer have a lot of support in the community, a lot of empathy about body image and a level of understanding and compassion that I believe is missing from the kind of Cancer I suffer from. The type I have also affects body image dramatically, equally as dramatically in my opinion, in fact, no that's not true, I actually think it is more dramatic and yet it is something very rarely discussed. A no go zone, to be kept private at all times, which is not good enough and not very helpful for woman trying to deal with it. So, yes I have decided to be very honest, very real, call a spade a spade and really put myself 'out' there on this topic, not just here on the blog but in my life too. In terms of support groups, body image, education and fostering compassion from the general public.

Anyway, I guess you could call this post a warning of graphic content to follow over the next few days and weeks and I will be including photos. Wish me luck, this does not come easily to me as I have been quite embarrassed about my 'issues' with this type of cancer for a long while but at the same time very aware that it is wrong to feel that way and that someone needs to help to change it and I guess - why not me? Okay, stay tuned my friends and wish me well on this subject, I hope I am equal to the task. Take care of yourselves and each other.


  1. Wow, Jen. I am so moved and awed by your courage in "coming out" here. I am reminded of the saying, "Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes." You are beautiful - and I don't even need to know what you look like.


    xo Jena

  2. Dear Jen,
    I enter your blog every week because it inspires me. As I understand you're a strong woman and your life is full with colors, beautiful colors. I'm a Reiki teacher and practitioner and I would like to help you. Reiki has been spread through entire world, you probably have heard about it or not. It can helps a lot specially Karuna Reiki. Try to find some help in this area... if you feel connected to it. William Lee Rand is an American Reiki teacher and in my opinion a Reiki missionary, his site is:, here you can find a lot of serious information and good articles about everything that concerns reiki energy and experiences.
    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Love from Portugal,

    You can find me in:

  3. It's me again... I talk about reiki concerning your cancer problem because I believe it can helps with some relief and healing. It's just a matter of experiencing...

    hugs :)

  4. Jen-
    As I have said before I am so proud of you! You inspire me every day!
    I am so excited to see this comment by Bete! I agree with her that it could be profoundly beneficial on your healing journey.
    hugs and love