Friday, 18 January 2008

Just Checkin' In...

Well here I am, not quite ready to do the second post on this journey I have started writing about. I have had a few hellish days where the pain has been unbearable so I have just not felt up to writing. I will get to it though fairly soon as I believe it is important. I have had to back off the pain meds as I just cannot function and I am continually falling asleep, not to mention feeling really dizzy and just weird. Not good when I am at home with my six year old son. Anyway I backed right off them and I feel better in myself if you know what I mean. The pain is bad but you know the pain was already starting to break through the drugs anyway so it was only a matter of time before it was back up to a high level again. I am trying hard to work through it and stay positive but I am afraid it has beaten me down a few times lately. I still have a while to go before the 24th which is when I am booked in for exploratory surgery, so I just need to hang in there till then.

Anyway I didn't come here to whinge and whine, I actually have so much I want to say but the words are jumbled and my thoughts are a bit higgledy piggledy so I will wait until I feel more up to the task of getting it all down in some sort of reasonable context. Feeling some hurt at lack of care from my family (again), you'd think I'd be used to it by now but somehow it still manages to bite me. Trying to think healing thoughts, doing affirmations, and when I can I get out and walk in the bush which does both Jack and I so much good. We met an elderly man yesterday with two gorgeous old dogs and we just stopped a while and had a good old chin wag while the boy and the dogs raced around and played fetch and ploughed through the stream. Another guy and his dog joined us for a good long while and it was good! There are some beautiful people on this planet and I never cease to be thrilled by discovering them, those are the things that matter, even in the midst of pain and angst. Okay, enough, my son wants me and I am off to snuggle up with him for a while, I will continue writing about my journey very soon. In the meantime thank you for all your lovely comments, I feel so spoiled and very grateful for you all especially in light of the hurt due to lack of family support, so thank you and take care of yourselves and each other. xxx

4 comments:

  1. yes...we are here. have a good weekend darling. breathe through each day.

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  2. Take good care of you.
    One step at a time.

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  3. Jen, if I can do anything to help you out please just give me a call or email me, I will even come around for a chin wag if you like.

    Love Deb

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  4. Jen - thinking of you today. Glad you took the time to check in.

    xo Jena

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