Friday, 25 January 2008

I'm Home...

Well, a little sore, a little sorry but home and safe for now. Of course the Surgeons haven't told me anything but I was told by the nurse that they must have found something reasonably quickly as I was only under for about 5 minutes and they took a biopsy of something which is now at pathology being tested. Everything went okay I guess. I was in a lot of pain afterwards, I expected to be though as, let's face it, I was in significant pain before hand and after being poked and prodded at and having bits snipped away, well yeah I had a fair idea I would be in pain. Luckily I went prepared with all my pain meds because as usual the nurses and doctors in charge at hospital just cannot get it through their heads that having stage 4 cancer means I am totally different from just the average Jo Blo that can take a strong pain killer and find comfort. My body has such a high tolerance to pain medication that it takes a LOT for anything to work on me. Anyway, they gave me what is equivalent to 1/2 aspirin to someone of my tolerance levels, even though I had gone to considerable effort before the op to inform them of what I would need and what I have been on etc. Anyway I just opened up my bag took out my arsenal of pain meds and took everything that I knew would help and bring me some comfort. The nurses were not impressed! However, within 20 minutes I was up and dressed and on my way home whereas I would have ended up having to stay overnight at least while they fiddled around with doses trying to get it right so slowly. Honestly it is so frustrating. I ended up having a good chat to one of the nurses who had earlier been horrified that I took matters into my own hands. I explained to her what I had been through for the past 5 years, what medications I have had to be on and for how long both now and in times past, my surgeries, my treatments the whole schamozzle and she finally understood and then proceeded to inform anyone who would listen how ridiculous it was that I was given the equivalent to 1/2 aspirin, etc. Oh you have to laugh I guess, fortunately I could but only because I had expected this and been able to work around it. I would not have been laughing when it would have resulted in me having to stay overnight or longer, Jack would have had to be taken care of, people would have had to run around after me organizing and planning all because these nurses cannot accept that they do not know everything, even the best pain medicine Doctor in my State finds me a challenge! The only people that can truly have any valuable input as to what I should and shouldn't take are the Palliative Care Unit Team and my Oncologists and thankfully I have a pretty good knowledge of medications and what can mix with what etc, but only for me mind you, I wouldn't have a clue about anyone else's situation and wouldn't dare to presume.

Anyway it was a narrow escape and although I think I was talked about as the 'arrogant' woman patient in there today, I am sure that by the time I left they could actually empathize with me and totally understand why I had to be prepared to act. As I said to them I'm not here to win a popularity contest, I just need the best possible treatment so I can get back to my life with my sons, I have too many things like this going on all the time that if I just sat back and let people that cannot possibly be knowledgeable enough on this, take charge, I would never be anywhere except hospitals and doctors offices etc.

Anyway dear ones, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your good wishes and prayers and candle lighting's, you are all so beautiful and I feel very well cared for in my little blog community, it truly is a wonder to me and I genuinely appreciate every one of you.

I will post again soon, especially as soon as I know anything. I am also preparing the next part of my talk on colostomies and all things that go along with cancer and body image etc. I am working on it, I am in no great hurry, as long as I report it all down I will be happy. I am also very into getting a support group happening either at my home or somewhere nearby for young (ish) woman. I am still horrified by the lack of support and knowledge out there about this subject. Even what could have happened today and indeed has happened to me in the past is something other woman must go through and it is simply not good enough. It is all traumatic enough without these kind of unnecessary aggravations that make it all so much worse. So we need a more powerful voice and I am passionate about providing it, I am just going to take a couple days now to heal and then back into it with a vengeance. I am losing a lot of blood and it makes me very tired, I am also so tender and find it difficult to sit down, however, each day will be an improvement so I will simply do what I can and no more. I am not loving not being able to sit at my computer for very long, oh well I have typed this standing up and it wasn't so bad. Anyway take care dear ones and I shall post again very soon. Once again, thank you all so very much. Peace, hugs xx

Reasons to Smile Today:

I am home : )

My Mum and my Nana are buying me a new lounge suite for my Birthday, I so desperately need one so this is huge!

The fact that they want to buy me the lounge suite is enough, I feel loved and special in their eyes.

I turn 39 tomorrow, when I first got diagnosed I didn't think I'd see 39.

My Birthday falls on Australia Day which means fireworks and celebrations.


  1. Welcome home dear one!
    I am sorry you had to have such a fight but am glad you are at home and resting. I am proud of you for being your own advocate. So many people would just give in and give up.
    Let us know what you hear as soon as you know anything, OK?
    xo m

  2. Now its time to have a rest and be ready for the fireworks in your honour tomorrow, 39 is a great achievement! You know what is best for you - not someone who has met you 5 minutes previous - they think they know everything and I know from experience that they do not. Better to be at home with your little man.

  3. Happy to hear you are home and taking good care, offering yourself what you need.
    Reading your words I was struck by what a true warrior you are. How often we would be willing to do these things, namely whatever is needed, for our children but hesitate to offer them, do them, for ourselves.
    What true self love you offered your self.
    Rest, heal, mend, and go slowly, as slowly as you needed. As you have already shared, only you know what this.
    Your voice rings loud and clear and true.