Hello to anyone who still bothers to read this blog. I haven't blogged in a long while, to be really honest I'm not sure it's worth while keeping it going anymore, at least not as a public one anyway. I guess I can just add to it once in a while, it's just that I started it a mostly a scrapping type of blog and I hate to admit I just haven't done anything worth showing lately. I've had too many things going on lately and they haven't been nice things either. Anyway I'll fill you in on what's been going on.
One week ago I got up one morning and was a little surprised that my cat Alley (Alexander) hadn't woken me with his usual sweet mewings or his not so sweet jumping on me to wake me. Anyway I got up and couldn't find him so I didn't worry too much, I thought Jamie (my oldest boy) must have let him out in the wee hours which he does sometimes if puss meows at the door.
To cut a really long story short he was found dead on the road by me, someone had hit him with a car and moved him into the gutter.
Anyway, it really affected me badly as I loved my puss, he had been my little friend whenever my boys were away at their Dad's. He always knew when I felt sad or sick and would quietly come over to sit with me and comfort me.
He was such an intelligent little guy, if I put my hand up and said 'No' in a stern voice he would immediately obey.
He was a tiny little cat, he didn't grow much bigger than a kitten size, which was so cute and he kept a lot of his baby soft fur on his belly.
He always sensed when someone needed him, if either of my two boys were sad or unwell, he'd go and be with them, he was just the sweetest little cat you could ever know and he will be sorely missed. He already is. I still expect to see him or hear him and I have thoughts like 'I must just check puss' water and things like that.
Anyway that is one reason I haven't been in the mood for blogging, or in the mood for much actually but there are other things going on at the moment which are really testing me and I'm kinda tired of being tested you know? Surely I have proven that I can handle the tough stuff with reasonable fortitude, surely if it's 'character building' I have enough character (at least according to those who know me best). I don't know, it's hard not to feel as though I'm being punished for something but I don't know what, I have always tried to be a good person, I have always cared deeply about others, I try my best. Logic tells me it's not about punishment at all it's just the ups and downs of life and we all have struggles they just wear a different guise.
Anyway I won't get started on my woes or I may not stop and I don't want to turn this into a 'pity party' although I may have already done that! Sorry if I have but I had to write about my beautiful Alley Cat.
Take care, I hope you are well and perhaps, just maybe, mind you, I'm not promising anything, I could still turn this blog into something to be proud of. I may have to make a few changes though to the format and content and lift my game a little.
Someone that inspires me to do that is Meg Casey, she writes so beautifully that it is awe inspiring and she has made me want to write in a different 'voice' as she calls it. I think though to do that I will definitely have to change the feel of this blog. Anyway I like a challenge, I just don't have much energy spare at the moment so it may take me a while.
Saturday, 24 November 2007
Posted by Jen Ballantyne at 10:45 am